Cover: The Joker, sporting some pretty intense tattoos, is holding Batman's cape (just wrote cake) with a sneaky look on his face.
Alternate cover: HOLY SHIT. I couldn't figure out who this was at first. I thought it was Alfred, but I was confused because he had horns. Then I realized it was an optical illusion, with TWO faces making up the one. Jim Lee is truly transcendent. A troubling point: Alfred (?) appears to have the teeth of a horse.
Joker's one night stand is all, "I never do this, especially with someone I just met" and then asks Joker's name. He's all, "They call me the Joker" and then:
What a funny coincidence! Are you making the connection yet, sweetie? No? Okay.
Joker admits that it was him and then starts talking about the girl. She's a reputable attorney who crusades against child molesters. Joker apparently loves her in his special little way. I'm not liking where this is going.
Joker is really ripped too. Is there something in the water in Gotham?
The Joker then hits the girl and (I'm assuming) rapes her, and he calls it love.
I feel uncomfortable.
Here's something I really like, and I'm not sure if it's Jim Lee or Frank Miller's idea. Each character's text box is different. Batman's is scribbled out hastily on crooked boxes, probably indicating his lack of care in any aspect of his life. Alfred's are neat and tidy on square little boxes. Black Canary has more feminine writing. Joker has childish writing and green boxes. It's kind of like a leitmotif.
It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.
Okay, he may not have raped her. I can't really tell.
WHOA. The Joker has a henchmen. She appears to be a white supremacist, with short blonde hair and a military demeanour. She's wearing no shirt, but has giant swastikas covering her boobs. She appears to have no nipples. Frankly, she scares the everloving bejeezus out of me.
Remember when Batman was like, "Avenger or detective?" I honestly didn't know which one he wanted Robin to pick. Apparently he wanted Robin to pick "detective", which he did. Batman is happy, or at least as happy as Batman gets. Batman is starting to respect Robin because he's as smart as Batman. Their banter here, again, has the ring of a couple who appear to hate each other but are really attracted to each other. I can't think of any examples right now, but I'm sure there are many.
This is the second time someone has used the word "queer" but I'm wondering if they mean like "gay" or just weird.
Batman orders Robin to get a cape and mask. Batman starts to have second thoughts about playing "father." I would have called it playing "psychopath" but tomato tomahto.
Batman calls Robin "Boy Wonder" which sets the wheels turning in Robin's mind. Batman turns to leave again but Robin, with an intense look on his face, says that Batman has to answer a question. What shall the question be? "Why did you kidnap me?" "Are you insane?" "Do you have any sort of working moral compass?" Nope, the question is "What's the deal with the robot T-rex?" Finally, after like four issues, we get an answer about that T-rex. But actually we don't, because Batman's answer is simply "shut up." Another sleepless night.
Batman sees some kind of signal in the sky and for the life of me I can't figure it out. I assume it's from the Joker because it's green, but it looks like a vertical "101" or maybe a crop circle.
Batman dumps Jocko in the river and Jocko's response is to call Batman a creep. This seems like an underwhelming thing to call the guy who murdered you.
Editor's note: We can't print Jocko-Boy's response, due to standards of decency. The response demands an anatomical impossibility.
Well, that's more like it.
Robin contemplates a Robin Hood costume and then starts talking to Alfred's voice. Robin thanks Alfred for bringing him food.
How does a 12-year-old identify an accent from South Kensington?
Batman: I've never been all that good with people.
Well, that's one HELL of an understatement. This part made me laugh though:
Batman: I've got a retarded demigod to take care of.
That's a sentence you don't hear often.
Oh, apparently the vertical "101" is Green Lantern's signal. As per usual, he's sitting around doing nothing. Batman apparently is "everywhere and nowhere." He's like Jesus.
Green Lantern's mask is like one of those masquerade masks, only it doesn't have the stick. How is it staying on his face? The questions continue.
Batman tells us a little about Green Lantern. Basically, he's a moron with the most powerful ring in the universe. Whatever he wants, the ring makes it happen. Batman sounds like he's contemplating stealing it.
OMG IT'S CATWOMAN, YOU GUYS.
Sadly, her appearance only takes up two panels. The Joker asks her if she wants to join in some mischief.
Robin's Robin Hood costume is ADORABLE. But there's a lot of loose clothing that can get caught in stuff. I'm mostly confused how Alfred managed to make a whole Robin Hood costume in like an hour. Did he have all the fabric hanging around the house?
Batman takes the hood and pulls it over Robin's face. He tells Batman to lose the hood, and just be Robin. I wonder if the story of his costume is canon.
That's the end of issue 8.
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