New Moon Chapters 11 and 12

Chapter 11- Cult

Weird Words
Holy crow

Bella is all scared all the time, because of Laurent, I presume. Btw, HOW HILARIOUS WAS HE IN THE MOVIE? Who knew that he was black? And when he's like, "his senses are unparalleled" or something, all I could think about was the Twilight spoof where he's like, "He has unparalleled senses...except for his sense of fashion, it's a bit off."

Jacob still hasn't called Bella, and of course she's all freaked out and almost catatonic again because her other man is not around. She calls him like ten times a day and can't stop thinking about him. This is not healthy.

Yes. YES!

Holy crow, I knew exactly what was going on with Jacob. Man, I missed prose like this. Who knew that the words "holy crow" could instill such glee in me?

Bella thinks that Jacob has been sucked into Sam's cult. Bella calls her dad, who doesn't really care.

I drove to La Push determined to wait. I'd sit out front of his house all night if I
had to. I'd miss school. The boy was going to have to come home sometime, and
when he did, he was going to have to talk to me. Now she's the one being obsessive and creepy.

She finds Quil wandering around by the side of the road. Quil is worried because now Embry and Jacob have gone over to the dark side. Giant wolves, people acting weird...I wonder what is going on.

Jacob cut his hair, thank you Jesus. Every time he came onscreen I could not stop laughing. And Jacob has changed physically: he is bigger and more muscular and apparently he's all scary and broody. Maybe that's why he turns into an asshole. And now all the people in this gang look alike because Smeyer has a problem with individuality.

She keeps using the phrase "scared silly". Fifties time warp, ftw.

The others, Paul, Jared, and Embry, I assumed, followed him in. Who the hell are Paul and Jared? Has she met them before? How does she know their names? And why does Smeyer keep introducing randoms and then never mentioning them again?

So she and Jacob are having this conversation. She wants to know what's going on but he won't say. Jacob is still all angry. Jacob says it's the fault of the vampires that he is like he is now. It's still supposed to be a secret even though Smeyer hasn't done a good job of not making it obvious.

And hurrah, Edward's voice is in her ear again!

"Go home, Bella. I can't hang out with you anymore."
The silly, inconsequential hurt was incredibly potent. The tears welled up again.
"Are you… breaking up with me?" The words were all wrong, but they were the
best way I could think to phrase what I was asking. After all, what Jake and I had
was more than any schoolyard romance. Stronger. Way to make him think you aren't interested.

The blank emptiness of my life before—before Jacob
brought some semblance of reason back into it—reared up and confronted me. Her life didn't have meaning until Edward, and then he left, and her life doesn't have meaning without Jacob. I hate this shit.

Anyhoo, Charlie phones Billy and bitches him out because he doesn't want Bella to go into a depression again. Well if you would just get a therapist you wouldn't be having this problem.

She dreams about Jacob turning into Edward and then she wakes up and hears something scraping along her window. Maybe her stalker is back.

Chapter 12- Intruder

Weird Words:
Dog-tired

Nope, it's just Jacob watching her while she sleeps! Fun times.

Jacob comes to apologize and Bella is pissed off. And for some reason, Jacob's temperature is really hot, just like Edward's is really cold. I wonder if Jacob is some kind of mythical creature also.

And then she swoons like a Victorian duchess.

Jacob can't tell her exactly what is going on but he says she already knows the answer and if she can guess then he can talk about it and he's trying to get her to guess it. He grabs her head and starts talking intensely about when they met for the first time at La Push. Jacob is bound by the sacred laws of secret keeping but he wants to give Bella clues about what is the matter with him, despite the fact that the readers (or me, at least) already guessed this in Twilight.

You need your sleep—I need you firing on all pistons. I don't think that's the phrase. [Edited: At 8:27 this morning, without thinking of it, the phrase came to me. It's "firing on all cylinders." CYLINDERS. DOES NO ONE EDIT HER WORK?]

I took his hand, and suddenly he yanked me—too roughly—right off the bed so
that I thudded against his chest.
"Just in case," he muttered against my hair, crushing me in a bear hug that about
broke my ribs.
"Can't—breathe!" I gasped.
He dropped me at once, keeping one hand at my waist so I didn't fall over. He
pushed me, more gently this time, back down on the bed.
Manhandling #1. I'm going to keep a list.

Unintentional hilarity: It was not the peaceful, creamless sleep I'd yearned for—of course not. I'm fairly certain this is supposed to say "dreamless". I love whoever wrote out this e-book.

She dreams about the beach and Jacob says she has to run away.

Jacob turns into a wolf. I wonder what his secret is. Also, if there were eyewitness accounts of ginormous wolves bigger than bears, wouldn't the place be flooded with scientists and cryptozoologists?

She FINALLY gets it. Yay.

Could a world really exist where ancient legends
went wandering around the borders of tiny, insignificant towns, facing down
mythical monsters? Why is it so hard to believe that werewolves exist, when you had no doubt about Edward's vampirism or his mindreading? She's like Scully. I can't believe I just made that comparison. Scully would kick her ass AND probably the wolves' asses. With William in her arms.

Hey look, my question is answered:

A small, dry voice in the back of my mind asked me what the big deal was.
Hadn't I already accepted the existence of vampires long ago—and without all the
hysterics that time?
Exactly, I wanted to scream back at the voice. Wasn't one myth enough for
anyone, enough for a lifetime?
Besides, there'd never been one moment that I wasn't completely aware that
Edward Cullen was above and beyond the ordinary. It wasn't such a surprise to
find out what he was—because he so obviously was something.

Charlie informs Bella that there was another wolf attack and people are going out to shoot the wolves.

EVERYTHING makes Bella dizzy. The knowledge of werewolves, Edward, fear...she really is like a Victorian duchess with a weak constitution.