Eclipse Chapters 11 and 12

Chapter 11-Legends

So they're at this bonfire thingie. Quil kissed her on the cheek for some weird reason.

Quil had jumped up to give me a high five and kiss me on the cheek.

Who does that? "Hey, high fives!" *kiss*.

The whole pack was there: Sam with his Emily, Paul, Embry, Quil, and Jared with Kim, the girl he’d imprinted upon.
Notice how it's not "the girl he loves" it's "The girl he imprinted upon". Also, is imprinting really the right word to use? That's what ducklings do to their mom.

My first impression of Kim was that she was a nice girl, a little shy, and a little plain. She had a wide face, mostly cheekbones, with eyes too small to balance them out. Her nose and mouth were both too broad for traditional beauty. Her flat black hair was thin and wispy in the wind that never seemed to let up atop the cliff.

Because no one can be as beautiful as Bella Swan!

The way he stared at her! It was like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. Like a collector finding an undiscovered Da Vinci, like a mother looking into the face of her newborn child. Because I want MY boyfriend to look at me like I'm a newborn child and he is my mother!

Yay, story time! Also, for some reason Emily is copying down every word he says. I don't know why. There's a bunch of legends but who cares. I'm not even going to read them. Hopefully they're not important. The only one that is important is this woman called the Third Wife who cut herself to distract vampires and save her husband. I think.

“Oh, crap!” I gasped as I realized that I had fallen asleep. “How late is it? Dang it, where’s that stupid phone?” I patted my pockets, frantic and coming up empty. I wonder what Bella would do if someone dropped the F bomb. Probably faint.

Jacob and Edward do the Bella exchange.

“Are you tired? I could carry you.”
“I’m fine.”
“Let’s get you home and in bed. Did you have a nice time?”

Good GOD the way he treats her like a child just RANKLES me.

Anyhoodle, she dreams that Rosalie is attacking Billy and then Bella is holding a knife and then she wakes up. Ooh, FORESHADOWING. Could it BE any more blatant? And why does Smeyer make all the foreshadowing happen in dreams?

He said something else, something low, but I was already asleep. Well then how the hell do you know that he said something to you? Does Smeyer need a class in First Person Basics? This just reminds me of Y:TAS: "I was unconscious for this next part, but fortunately I can still remember it!"

Chapter 12- Time

Alice is planning a graduation party.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes. It is Monday . . . the fourth.” She grabbed my elbow, spun me halfway around, and pointed toward a big yellow poster taped to the gym door. There, in sharp black letters, was the date of graduation. Exactly one week from today.
“It’s the fourth?Of June? Are you sure?”
Neither one answered. Alice just shook her head sadly, feigning disappointment, and Edward’s
eyebrows lifted.
“It can’t be! How did that happen?” I tried to count backwards in my head, but I couldn’t figure out where the days had gone.

Well hopefully you got a grad dress or otherwise prepared in some way. This section is just funny to me, I don't know why.

Bella is now whining that she's not ready to be a vampire. My GOD make up your mind!

“What am I getting Alice for graduation?”
He snickered. “It looked like you were getting us both concert tickets —”
“That’s right!” I was so relieved, I almost smiled. “The concert in Tacoma. I saw an ad in the paper last week, and I thought it would be something you’d like, since you said it was a good CD.” Guess which fucking band?

“So . . . it’s not that you’re afraid you won’t . . . like me as much when I’m different — when I’m not soft and warm and I don’t smell the same? You really do want to keep me, no matter how I turn out?” Isn't that a weird way of putting it? "You want to keep me?" It's like she's a dog.

“I’m notthat girl, Edward. The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who got knocked up by her boyfriend! Do you know what people would think? Do you realize what century this is? People don’t just get married at eighteen! Not smart people, not responsible, mature people! I wasn’t going to be that girl! That’s not who I am. . . .” I trailed off, losing steam. But you ARE the girl who will willingly give up her mortality to be with the guy she lusts for. Also, what will people think when you suddenly look radically different and have yellow eyes?

They BOTH have such low self esteem. Bella thinks Edward is reluctant to turn her because he won't want her when she's not human. Edward is afraid that Bella wants immortality more than him. Despite the fact that they gush about how much they love each other EVERY FLIPPING LINE OF THIS FLIPPIN BOOK.

And for one second, I could. I saw myself in a long skirt and a high-necked lace blouse with my hair piled up on my head. I saw Edward looking dashing in a light suit with a bouquet of wildflowers in his hand, sitting beside me on a porch swing.
I shook my head and swallowed. I was just havingAnne of Green Gables flashbacks.

What the FUCK? What does that have to do with ANYTHING, seriously?

“Dum, dum, dah-dum,” I hummed under my breath. I was going for the wedding march, but it sort of sounded like a dirge. Ha ha ha ha ha I'm not sure how that works.

More shit about Seattle.

This book is so boring.

“We’re all confused,” Emmett grumbled. I just love Emmett but it's so inexplicable.

Also, Jasper has a shitload of scars.