Left Behind Chapters 21 and 22

This is not related at all to this post, but I think we're overdue for a bad movie on here. I've done a lot of books, and I like to shake things up every so often (with mixed results...All-Star Batman, anyone?) and I think we need to add some colour. I might do "Alien Apocalypse" starring the king of cheese himself, Bruce Campbell.

Just had a good idea: what about bad television episodes? I'm unsure how many I have here (a lot of my DVDs are at home) but I know there are a few terrible X-Files episodes I could make fun of (my least favourites: Hell Money, Grotesque, Milagro [featuring the CREEPY CREEPY SCULLY STALKER]) Also, both X-Files movies are candidates. I love them to death but they make no goddamn sense.

Anyhoo.

CHAPTER 21

Buck has to go to Chicago to replace Lucinda, but he thinks that nonexciting developments at the UN are more important than doing his job. I mean, we all know he won't actually WRITE anything, so it's pretty useless following up on the whole Carpathia thing.

How fucking CREEPED OUT would you be if a reporter ten years your senior interviewed your dad and then OUT OF NOWHERE was suddenly creepily obsessed with you? You'd be creeped out.

Here's what I mean: he gets a cheap seat and then upgrades to be near Chloe. I can't describe how creepy Buck is acting.

Chloe is "radiant" and it's "clear she went to a beauty salon." Because, you know, when a third of the world disappears, your first instinct should be vanity.

It's important to note here that Chloe is "looking five years older." So that Buck doesn't seem like as much of a cradle robber.

Side note: I'm watching The House on Haunted Hill (1959 version) and Elisha Cook, Jr. is in it. At this point, it had been about fifteen years since he was in The Maltese Falcon, but his acting style is exactly the same. He always seems slightly baffled, like he doesn't quite know what's going on. And he's ALWAYS so earnest. It's rather endearing.

Here's the problem with writing a character that is the best in the world at anything: clearly, the person WRITING the character is not the best in the world at, say, reporting, otherwise they would be reporting. The character's talent outweighs the writer's talent, so it's very hard to write a credible expert unless you have talent in the field. Buck is supposed to be the best interviewer in the world, but Jenkins glides right over that and if he actually has Buck TALKING, it's very rudimentary questions and technique.

Rayford gives his little proselytizing speech and Buck is INSTANTLY hooked. Like, no questioning, no skepticism. This is God, no doubt about it. I feel like a reporter would be a little more skeptical, especially the best investigate reporter in the world. Wouldn't he, you know, investigate the claim?

Chloe is crying for some reason, and Buck's all, "Women. What was with them?"

Buck asks Rayford something off the record. This is what I've learned in journalism: you never, EVER, volunteer off the record. You fight for on the record, and it doesn't matter if it makes your source hate you. And yet Buck volunteers off the record.

CHAPTER 22

Buck could not sleep. Partly because he was excited about his morning surprise.
So...correct me if I'm wrong here...but did we just get an implied description of Buck's morning wood?

He could only hope that Chloe would be happy about it.
I feel like this whole first paragraph is a "that's what she said joke".

The larger part of his mind reeled with wonder.
Heh. And again.

It already seemed as if he were living in a science fiction thriller.
Is this...lampshading? I didn't think Jenkins knew what that was.

Buck was on a quest now, looking to satisfy deep needs.
Pick a sentence at random, and you can turn it into a "that's what she said joke."

...It didn't make any difference how good Buck was..."
See? It totally works!

BUCK IS SO CREEPY. So he has the seat next to Chloe, but she doesn't know. And he's sitting there waiting for her to turn and see him. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW FUCKING CREEPY THAT WOULD BE? You just met this guy who's ten years older than you and he manipulates events so that he gets the seat next to you and then he doesn't even tell you, he just waits for you to notice? I would get a restraining order.

LET ME REPEAT THIS: BUCK IS SO GODDAMN CREEPY.

"It wasn't hard once I knew your flight time, and I said I was travelling with you to get next to you."
SO CREEPY.

"Buck, there's no other explanation for those two guys in Jerusalem, is there, except they have to be the two witnesses talked about in the Bible?"
Uh huh, noooooooooo other explanation.

According to Chloe, independence and thinking for yourself are terrible traits. Never have them or you'll burn in Hell.

Guys...we lost Chloe.

Chloe was "awful" to Rayford by not giving in to his rabid and fanatical proselytizing and by maintaining independence and free will. Huh. I'm not sure I like the values this book is teaching me.