Left Behind Chapters 19 and 20

I totally don't remember writing a blog post yesterday, but apparently I did.

Anyway, I'll be done this shit this week, yo. Super pumped for that.

CHAPTER 19

Rayford is talking about it being "chaos" from now on. What chaos? I haven't seen any chaos. ALLEGEDLY, there were a shitload of plane crashes and stuff, but we didn't see any of that. Rayford's work schedule has continued as normal. There were those burglars, but that's pretty much been forgotten. Rayford gets groceries and goes out for Chinese like normal. Nothing's changed.

Rayford describes his thing with Bruce as a "relationship." Technically, that's correct, but it just makes me think that Rayford suddenly turned gay.

"Plank, I like you. You've been a superstar to me."
Really? This is Plank's boss talking. So far, all Plank's done is assign stories that aren't getting done and then forget about them, and resign from his job as editor. Good job, Plank.

Btw, Steve-O is getting six figures for being an editor of a magazine. Somehow, that seems extravagant.

"He said this guy intended to take a different approach - you know, zig when everyone was zagging. Miller was doing a story on the meaning behind the disappearances, which I know you were planning for an issue or two from now."
So let's get this straight. Miller was being a complete nonconformist...by writing about the disappearances. So basically, a third of the world disappears into thin air, and NO ONE decided that was big enough news to talk about, and Miller was being a complete cowboy here? ALSO, the big issue about the disappearances was being planned a few issues from the present. Here is what I've learned in journalism classes: when news happens, you fucking talk about it. I'm assuming this is a monthly magazine. They're going to talk about the disappearances two months after the fact? No journalist would ever even think of doing that. Here's an example of how anal newspapers are about this shit: we read a story about the anniversary of a big explosion or sinking or something of a ship in the harbour near Toronto. The Star did this story a day BEFORE the actual anniversary, just so they would get the story out before the Globe. Big shit like mass disappearances happen, you don't wait two months to do a cover story. Nobody will give a shit by then. Plus, if you get it out RIGHT AWAY it's still fresh in people's minds and they'll buy new issues. This is my first year of journalism, and I'd even make a better editor than Steve. His instincts are shit.

Buck suddenly realized that Steve knew everything.
Well that came right the fuck out of nowhere.

"I thought we beat Time and everyone else on our coverage of the actual event."
WHAT COVERAGE? THERE HAS BEEN NO COVERAGE AS OF YET.

CHAPTER 20

Strange word/phrase- "She's a doll", "pooh-poohed."
This timeline is so weird. It was established a few chapters ago, when Damien was giving his speech, that he was already People's Sexiest Man Alive. And now Hattie is meeting with Rayford saying that Damien is going to be named Sexiest Man Alive. I'm confused.

Everyone talks like they're stuck in 1955. Buck asks Hattie to introduce him to Rayford because he wants to interview him. Hattie's all, "You should meet his daughter! She's a real doll." WHO DOES THIS? So, I'm meeting with my boss and his 20 year old daughter. Some guy (who's like 30? And also I'm not really friends with him) wants to be introduced. It wouldn't even OCCUR to me to try to match the daughter and this guy. That's so weird.

"He's [Buck] doing an interview and he wants to talk to you."
"Really? Me? About what?"
TAKE A WILD FUCKING GUESS, RAYFORD.

Fred Clark (who writes the Slacktivist) is so right. This book is roughly 85% phone conversations.

"It would to get your perspective as a professional and as someone who was right in the middle of the turmoil when it happened."
A third of the world is gone. Wouldn't EVERYONE be in the middle of the turmoil when it happened?

Buck was stunned. He loved Chloe's name, her eyes, her smile. She looked directly at him and gave him a firm handshake, something he liked in a woman. [...] What a beautiful girl! he thought. He had been tempted to tell Captain Steele that, as of the next day, he would no longer be a writer but would be executive editor. But he feared that would sound like bragging, not complaining, so he had said nothing.

This reminds me of something I read. PurpleCow writes really weird speed stories and then comments on them. They're probably one of the most hilarious things on the internet. This is an excerpt:
Before long Dax said, "I'm going home," and he laughed, and Della realized she missed him a lot. Maybe she was falling in love. Kathunk kathunk. That was the sound of her heart falling. It was truly beautiful. She loved Dax. He must not love her, though, because he just left her.

That's what I thought of immediately. Both love realization scenes are so awkward, stilted, and badly thought out. The different is that PurpleCow knows the writing is terrible, and that's what makes it hilarious. Jerry B. Jenkins, on the other hand, thinks he's actually writing a cute love story.

Also, why would Buck randomly tell his interviewee that he's going to be an editor? And why is it better to complain than brag? And there's a weird space between when Buck is meeting Rayford and he goes, "This is your daughter?" and then all the stuff about how he loves Chloe's smile and shit. Spaces between paragraphs in narratives are used to convey a POV change or time passing. Neither has happened, so why is the space there?

Buck interviews Chloe and is all shy and awkward. Also, they're doing the interview while people watching and window shopping. That seems counterintuitive to me.

Hee hee. Jenkins uses the phrase "pooh-poohed."

This is sooooooo awkward!
"You feel like a cookie?" she asked.
"Why, do I look like one?"
"How did I know that was coming?" she said. "Buy me a cookie and I'll let that groaner die a natural death."
"Of old age, you mean," he said.
"Now that was funny."
It really wasn't. I get what Jenkins is going for: he wants Buck to seem awkward and shy and all cute with infatuation, but it really doesn't work. I'm not sure if I'm just biased against the work, because I can't explain why this part doesn't work. It just seems weird. Probably mostly because he's ten years older.

Rayford's such an ass. He's not letting Hattie speak, he's rolling his eyes at her, and he's being an all around pushy idiot. I hate him.

To Hattie: "I'll let you break your silence temporarily."
Gee, thanks, Rayford.

Disappearings, Chloe?

OMG WTF. Chloe and Buck are eating cookies and she has some chocolate on her face, so OF COURSE he has to wipe it off with his thumb and then HE LICKS HIS THUMB.

HE LICKS HIS THUMB, GUYS.

CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPY.

WTF. This is so hard to read you guys. I have no problem with awkward humour. I watch The Office. BUT THIS IS SO BAD. Buck says he's almost 31 and Chloe (being funny?) goes, "I SAY, HOW OLD ARE YOU, OLD MAN?" and then "Buck roared." Now, I'm assuming he roared with laughter, but who's to say he didn't just out and fucking roar like a lion for no reason?

There's so much telling, no showing. This book is awful, you guys. I mean, I haven't even talked about the religious themes a lot, because there's SO MUCH AWFUL going on with the writing.