Breaking Dawn Chapters 31 and 32

Chapter 31- Talented

I sure wonder who that refers to. HOLY CRAP. My fluorescent light is burned out and sometimes it randomly goes on and it just did.

"Come now, Edward! If I can't get a read on her, I doubt you can, either. Can you
hear her thoughts right now?"
Eleazar asked.
"No," Edward murmured. "But I've never been able to do that. Even when she
was human."
"Never?" Eleazar blinked. "Interesting. That would indicate a rather powerful latent
talent, if it was manifesting so clearly even before the transformation.
Of course she's the very bestest and most powerful of all! Goddamn Mary Sue. You know how boring this book is? It doesn't even bring out my Tourette's swearing like Eclipse did. I don't know if that's good or bad.

I frowned. "What are you talking about? How can I be ashield? What does that
even mean?" All I could picture in my head was a ridiculous medieval suit of armor.
Duh, dumbass. It means you can shield your mind from others HELLO.

"Jane tried to hurt me, but she couldn't," I said. "Edward thinks Demetri can't
find me, and that Alec can't bother me, either. Is that good?"
Well, fuck, Bella, I don't know. The psychotic vamp can't put you in pain, her brother can't erase your senses, and the creepy tracker dude can't find you BUT I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S GOOD OR NOT.

Maybe I spoke too soon earlier.

"Momma, you're special," Renesmee told me without any surprise, like she was
commenting on the color of my clothes.
Gag me.

I felt disoriented. Didn't I already know my gift? I had my super-self-control that
had allowed me to skip right over the horrifying newborn year. Vampires only
had one extra ability at most, right?
Well, not BELLA, of course!

"Can you project?" Kate asked interestedly.
"Project?" I asked.
"Push it out from yourself," Kate explained. "Shield someone besides yourself."
DUH!

I wished fervently
that I might be good at this projecting thing, too, like I was somehow mysteriously
good at all the other aspects of being a vampire.
Rub it in a little more, Bella.

There's all this vampire politics but honestly, I just woke up from a nap and I'm still kind of tired adn I don't want to explain it. But I will try. There's this vamp named Chelsea who can influence the bond between people and she is significant for reasons which I do not understand. Aro is coming to see the Cullens and he's bringing everyone because he wants to acquire vampires with special gifts. Alice, in particular. Which is why she left. Aro also wants Edward. Remember in New Moon when Aro gave Edward a cloak and he's all, "It suits you"? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want Edward for his mind reading capabilities.

That was an extraordinarily boring chapter.

Chapter 32- Company

Peter and Charlotte are here now. They're friends of Jasper's, I believe.

I'm still confused as to why Jacob, Leah, and Seth are on good terms with Sam's werewolves.

Okay, now a shitload of random vampires are arriving and I'm lazy so I'm just going to steal Cleolinda's intro of them.

Peter and Charlotte: Jasper's friends. Nomads? Don't hear much about them.

The Irish clan: Carlisle's friends. Siobhan can will things, like goals or events, to happen. I mean, maybe not immediately, because that would be too helpful. But, you know. Eventually. Her partner Liam is "territorial." This is apparently a power. Their other companion, little Maggie, always knows when she's being lied to, which immediately gets any doubt about Renesmee out of the way. Convenient!

The Egyptian vampires: Amun is a cranky bastard who apparently has the power of being an unhelpful jerk. His mate Kebi has the power of... being his mate. Cute young (but not too young) Benjamin can actually control physical elements, like Captain Planet or something, I don't know. He also has the power of never taking any shit from Amun, no matter how bad Amun wants to boss him around or weaponize his elemental powers. Benjamin also has a mate named Tia, but if she has a power, I don't know about it.

Garrett: Emmett's friend. (Okay, Bella says "Emmett and Rosalie's," but I'm sorry, this is totally the kind of guy Emmett would hang with.) A hot adventuresome nomad vampire; sadly, he has no gifts... except the gift of being awesome. You'll be seeing more of him.

Mary and Randall: Not interesting enough to get more than "they were nomads, and they decided to hang around."

Alistair: Another grumpy bastard, this time British, who prefers sulking in the Cullens' attic to socializing. Powers: tracking; wimping out on friends.

The Amazons: Sent by Alice, so at least she's working towards getting her awesome right. I would like to say that Zafrina is totally fierce, because she is, except that I mean in more of the "righteous chick I look up to" way, and I think Stephenie Meyer may mean it more in the "exotic Amazon heathen, let's stare at her" kind of way. I hope not. Zafrina and Senna are "like two limbs of one organism," and I don't know that we get any evidence as to what Senna's gender is, although Senna being "a mirror image" suggests female. Interesting. Anyway, Zafrina can make you see anything she wants you to see--literally, the power of illusion. Renesmee instantly takes a shine to Zafrina (MOAR PRETTY PICTURES, basically). Also, Kachiri is out there somewhere, but s/he's not here yet.

The Romanians: Vladimir and Stefan, who weren't actually invited, but are really, creepily eager to see someone take the Volturi down. Apparently their grudges go back 1500 years? Damn. Jacob calls them "Dracula 1 and Dracula 2." Man, it's good to love Jacob again after the four-hundred-page aneurysm that was Eclipse.

Back to me now. And Garrett totally is awesome.

Amun stayed, but continued to refuse to touch Renesmee, and would not allow his mate,
Kebi, to touch her, either. It seemed an unlikely grouping – though the Egyptians
all looked so alike, with their midnight hair and olive-toned pallor, that they easily
could have passed for a biological family. Amun was the senior member and
the outspoken leader. Kebi never strayed farther away from Amun than his
shadow, and I never heard her speak a single word.
Well DUH. Can't have a woman being insubordinate to her man now, can you?

"Carlisle," the taller of the two very tall feline women greeted him when they arrived.
Both of them seemed as if they'd been stretched – long arms and legs, long
fingers, long black braids, and long faces with long noses. They wore nothing but
animal skins – hide vests and tight-fitting pants that laced on the sides with
leather ties. It wasn't just their eccentric clothes that made them seem wild but
everything about them, from their restless crimson eyes to their sudden, darting
movements. I'd never met any vampires less civilized.
Oh for fuck sakes. I'm pretty sure that people from South America aren't animal skin wearing, tall, beautiful heathens.

"Zafrina and Senna! But Where's Kachiri?" Carlisle asked. Tve never seen you
three apart."
"Alice told us we needed to separate," Zafrina answered in the rough, deep voice
that matched her wild appearance. "It's uncomfortable to be away from each
other, but Alice assured us that you needed us here, while she very much needed
Kachiri somewhere else."
Lol it's a group of lesbians.

Edward has to teach Bella to fight but he won't because he doesn't like fighting her. Well that's just GREAT, Edward. That's REALLY going to help when THE VOLTURI ARE AFTER HER.

I knew he hoped I would find a way of contributing that satisfied me while also
keeping me out of the line of fire.
Well that sounds really patronizing.

It killed me that it was Edward who had to suffer, my arms wrapped uselessly
around him while he winced over and over from Kate's low" setting. I tried as
hard as I could to push my shield around us both; every now and then I would get
it, and then it would slip away again.
I hated this practice, and I wished that Zafrina would help instead of Kate. Then
all Edward would have to do was look at Zafrina's illusions until I could stop him
from seeing them. But Kate insisted that I needed better motivation – by which
she meant my hatred of watching Edward's pain. I was beginning to doubt her
assertion from the first day we'd met – that she wasn't sadistic about the use of
her gift. She seemed to be enjoying herself to me.
Ha ha ha ha ha. See? Kate's awesome.

Now Kate wants to electrocute Nessie to give Bella some incentive. HA HA HA HA I LOVE HER.

I would learn faster under pressure. Under pressure! David Bowie ftw.

Okay. Now comes my favourite, favourite part of the books, the only instance of harmless, amusing, non-creepy flirting, and the only part I genuinely like:
"Kate," Garrett called as the others murmured and drifted slightly away, disturbed
by the moment of blindness; vampires were not used to feeling vulnerable.
The tall, sandy-haired Garrett was the only non-gifted immortal who
seemed drawn to my practice sessions. I wondered what the lure was for the adventurer.
"I wouldn't, Garrett," Edward cautioned.
Garrett continued toward Kate despite the warning, his lips pursed in speculation.
"They say you can put a vampire flat on his back."
"Yes," she agreed. Then, with a sly smile, she wiggled her fingers playfully at him.
"Curious?"
Garrett shrugged. "That's something I've never seen. Seems like it might be a bit
of an exaggeration..."
"Maybe," Kate said, her face suddenly serious. "Maybe it only works on the weak
or the young. I'm not sure. You look strong, though. Perhaps you could withstand
my gift." She stretched her hand out to him, palm up – a clear invitation. Her lips
twitched, and I was pretty sure her grave expression was an attempt to hustle
him.
Garrett grinned at the challenge. Very confidently, he touched her palm with his
index finger.
And then, with a loud gasp, his knees buckled and he keeled over backward. His
head hit a piece of granite with a sharp cracking noise. It was shocking to watch.
My instincts recoiled against seeing an immortal incapacitated that way; it was
profoundly wrong.
"I told you so," Edward muttered.
Garrett's eyelids trembled for a few seconds, and then his eyes opened wide. He
stared up at the smirking Kate, and a wondering smile lit his face.
"Wow," he said.
"Did you enjoy that?" she asked skeptically.
"I'm not crazy," he laughed, shaking his head as he got slowly to his knees, "but
that was sure something!"
I don't know why, but I just love that part. I think because it's the only instance of a girl being stronger than a guy, and because the flirting is so adorable. There's a hilarious part involving those two, but it comes later.

Now strange vampires have shown up. I think this is Draculas 1 and 2. Yup.

The dark one grinned when I came into view. "Well, well, Carlisle. Youhave been
naughty, haven't you?"
"She's not what you think, Stefan."
"And we don't care either way," the blonde responded. "As we said before."
"Then you're welcome to observe, Vladimir, but it is definitely not our plan to
challenge the Volturi, aswe said before."
"Then we'lljust cross our fingers," Stefan began.
"And hope we get lucky," finished Vladimir.

I think I might love these two as well.