Breaking Dawn Chapters 29 and 30

Chapter 29- Defection

We sat there all night long, statues of horror and grief, and Alice never came
back.
Well that makes for very exciting reading! Also, I can't see Emmett going catatonic. He would be raring to fight.

Sam knew everything – the wolves were readying themselves
for what was coming.
HOW DOES HE KNOW? There have been other mentions of Jacob communicating telepathically with Sam. Did Smeyer just forget that SINCE JACOB LEFT THE PACK HE CAN'T HEAR THE OTHER PACK'S THOUGHTS ANYMORE? Continuity, Smeyer!

My eyes had not moved from his since Alice's departure. We'd stared at each other all
night, staring at what neither of us could live through losing: the other.
That's so creepy. Can you imagine just staring at someone for HOURS? SO WEIRD.

Alice randomly left without telling anyone where she was going or what she was doing. Okay? She just leaves a page from The Merchant of Venice. Smeyer's trying to make use believe she's smart but we know the truth. Also, I THINK this is code or something, but I'm sure the book won't make that clear.

Sam looked at Carlisle with a softer expression. "As Edward pointed out, we
don't have the same kind of freedom that you have. Renesmee is as much as part
of our family now as she is yours. Jacob cannot abandon her, and we cannot
abandon him."
I don't understand. Jacob isn't part of Sam's pack anymore. Why does Sam care so much about Renesmee and Jacob?

I hate how these vampires all lost their balls. Vampires are supposed to be fierce, tough, unfeeling, angry. And yet they're just particularly emotional humans.

There, next to the feathered edge left by the torn page, under the wordsThe Merchant
of Venice by William Shakespeare, was a note.
Destroy this.
Below that was a name and an address in Seattle.
Okay, not a code. Smeyer's not smart enough for that.

I was the only person in the world who could lie to Edward.
Was that what Alice wanted from me? Her last request?
Yes, I'm sure Alice's last request was for Bella to lie to Edward. Just for shits and giggles.

The name was J. Jenks. I don't know who this is.

Carlisle had explained the laws about immortal children to Jacob last night. "The
immortal children were really that bad?" he asked.
"You can't imagine the depth of the scars they've left in the collective vampire
psyche."
I've said this before but this is probably the only aspect of these books that I actually find intriguing.

I stroked my fingers
across the keys again. Then I drummed them very quietly on the wooden
desktop, just to make it seem random. Another stroke across the keys.
I don't get what she's doing. Rubbing the keys? People don't do this. Anyhoo, this J. Jenks person is a lawyer.

Puke inducing cuteness with Renesmee. Then the end, thank you Jesus.

Chapter 30- Irresistible

200 pages left. I'm not sure if I can last that long. The lulz have disappeared and I'm losing interest.

YAY, my lulz! So Bella goes to ask Edward questions about, you know, the vampires that are coming to KILL EVERYONE and he grabs her and kisses her and then they have sex. Yeah, okay, who cares about your lives. Just sex it up as much as you can! I'm sure everything will work out just dandifully.

There were answers I needed, and wasn't sure how much time Edward and I would have alone today.
Well, MAYBE if you weren't busy being so HORNY, you could done that yesterday without wasting so much time!

Alec, a vampire who has been mentioned a few times before is possibly Jane's brother and has the power to cut off your senses. Alec can apparently do this to anyone he wants at the same time, which would make a fight against the Volturi pretty useless. Unless...but THAT deus ex machina comes later.

Renesmee's all, "This is all my fault!"

"Edward!" a female voice enthused.
Honestly, Smeyer? Enthused? That sentence does NOT work.

The Denali clan has randomly shown up. Edward is trying to explain Renesmee to them.

"Yes," Renesmee answered in her trilling high soprano.
I shall explain what a trill is. A trill is when you switch notes very very quickly. So unless Renesmee is SINGING, she cannot be trilling her words. Also, Carmen randomly speaks in Spanish sometimes. I'm guessing she's at least a few centuries old, so she's probably been speaking English for that long. I know a few native speakers of other languages. My Baba and her whole family, for example, spoke Ukrainian as their first language. My French teacher spoke French as her first language. They've been speaking English for decades. They do not randomly slip into other languages unless they're speaking to people who speak that same language. Stereotype foreigners, why don't you, Smeyer?

Renesmee smiled at him. He hesitated, then smiled a slightly unwilling smile in
response.
"Eleazar?" Tanya asked.
"It's all true, Tanya. This is no immortal child. She's half-human. Come. See for
yourself."
Of course it's not possible that she's LYING at all, nope.

"I'm not dangerous at all," Renesmee interjected. I listened to her high, clear
voice with new ears, imagining how she sounded to the others. "I never hurt
Grandpa or Sue or Billy. I love humans. And wolf-people like my Jacob." She
dropped Edward's hand to reach back and pat Jacob's arm.
Totally not cutesy enough Smeyer. If you're going to go that direction, GO ALL THE WAY.

"Well, that is something we can certainly witness," Carmen said in a decided
tone.
Or even a decisive tone?

"Tanya," Edward protested, hearing more in her thoughts than there was in her
words, "we don't expect you to fight with us."
"If the Volturi won't pause to listen to our witness, we cannot simply stand by,"
Tanya insisted. "Of course, I should only speak for myself."
Kate snorted. "Do you really doubt me so much, sister?"
Tanya smiled widely at her. "Itis a suicide mission, after all."
Kate flashed a grin back and then shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm in."
Remember when I mentioned Kate before and said I thought I loved her? This is why.

It was like it had been with Charlie, and before that with all the Cullens. Renesmee
was irresistible. What was it about her that drew everyone to her, that made
them willing even to pledge their lives in her defense?
She has the power of Super Sue.