My Strange Dreams

Before we start today, I have to recount my dreams so I don't forget them. First, I had a mini dream that the girls in Smoosh were at my house and I was trying to convince other people that they ROCKED even though they were so young, and the drummer especially kicked ass. Then, my real dream.

I was watching the sequel (God forbid) to Troll 2, which was called, appropriately enough, Troll 3. Then suddenly I was living the movie.

Before I start though, here is the plot of Troll 2. A boy named Joshua, his parents, and his sister Holly go on holiday to a small town called Nilbog. Holly's boyfriend, whose name I can't recall at the moment so he will be referred to as BF, was supposed to go with them but stood her up. The A plot involves Joshua's dead grandfather (Seth) appearing to him and giving him cryptic hints that Nilbog is bad and he has to get his family away. The residents of Nilbog are actually vegetarian goblins (strangely enough, NOT trolls) and are trying to get Joshua's family to eat this green stuff so they will get turned into plants, which is what the goblins eat. Why they don't just eat actual vegetation is a mystery to me. After many adventures, the family gets away but the goblins are waiting at their house to eat them. The B plot involves Holly's boyfriend and his friends (Drew and Arthur) trying to catch up to them but getting involved with the goblins themselves.

So the plot of Troll 3 was that Holly is getting married (not to BF) and the goblins show up. I don't know exactly what part I was playing in this situation, but I was there. The goblins show up and Holly freaks out. Joshua and I were the only ones to remain calm, and led everyone underground for some reason. We had to climb down this rock wall, but there were more goblins waiting. We ran, and then we lost everyone else, and decided to hijack this truck thing. For some reason Joshua (who is like 11) was driving. We were driving around Toronto, which looked like Foam Lake, and I was complaining about how it took so long to get anywhere. For some reason Maria was there briefly but then she disappeared later. Anyway, we were going to drive home (yeah, because the goblins wouldn't get us there) but we had to get past this locked fence, and the goblins were in pursuit. Turns out we actually had Clayton and Genevieve's truck (they don't own one in real life) and we were going to their house. Joshua and I were looking frantically around for the key. At this point someone else was in the cab, but I'm not sure who it was. We finally found it and I volunteered to get out to unlock the gate. For some reason Joshua just decided to drive through the fence and we got through but the chain was still attached to us and stretching out as we drove. I got out to unlock it as opposed to just, you know, lifting the stretched chain over the truck. I was nervous so I fumbled with the key but I finally got it. For some reason I was really concerned with locking the gate up again, even though the really really long chain wouldn't do anything and the goblins were coming. Anyway, I got back in and I'm like, "DRIVE! DRIVE!" so Joshua, who now turned into my brother Jonas, gunned it and we were driving down my driveway when we saw a tractor flying through the air. It landed in the ditch next to us and we decided to keep going to see what was happening. We saw a combine flying through the air and I taped it with my camera. Then more shit was flying through the air and I was really scared we were going to be hit by something but Jonas just kept driving. I kept telling him to turn around but he wouldn't. Then there was a cow flying toward us and I'm freaking out like, "COW! COW! TURN AROUND!" but there was no place to turn around and the road was really small so he kept driving and the cow clipped the back of the truck but didn't do much damage. Then a UFO looking thing was hovering above us and crashed into the hood of the truck, smashing the windshield. And yet we still kept driving. Then we saw a black helicopter, which caused me to freak out AGAIN because I was sure the government was coming after us or something, and then another cow was coming at us. Jonas told me he was going to do a something or other whose name I can't remember, but I think it involved the word "four" and he basically did a U-turn but it was more awesome in my dream. Then we drove away in the other direction and went back to my house. The goblins, who were now dressed up in cloaks and resembled Sith lords, were doing some kind of ceremony and Jonas and I decided to pretend to be followers of them. So we put on black cloaks and I tucked my cell phone up my sleeve and he for some reason had a computer inside his cloak which was glowing, completely giving us away. I was like, "shut your cloak!" and I bowed before the main dude, and I was like, "my lord" and he's like, "look up" because he had to do a retinal scan or something. And he's like, "Ah, the Foam Lakers! I didn't know if you would show up again." And we were screwed but then I woke up.