More Work Ranting

I have never actively disliked anyone I've worked with more than I dislike someone we will call Moron, because after I wrote this I was hit with extreme paranoia that my bosses would see. Here are the reasons that he is a douchebag (some may be repeats, but they probably bear repeating):

1. This is THE BIGGEST one. he keeps making these sexual innuendoes and inappropriate comments to me. Like, he came by to spray something and then go back to the kitchen, and he got me in the face and I'm like, "most of that hit me" or something and he's like, "I like getting you wet." also, he's like, "I like your pink bra" because he could see the straps. That is not appropriate. We're not friends. We're not buddies. He may be joking, but it still is really offensive. I don't wear that bra to please you, dipshit. Also Bobbi came by to visit yesterday and she was telling me about her new boyfriend and he's like, "have you slept together yet?" Yes, we know he's joking, but that doesn't make it any less offensive. I'm fucking ten years younger than you, man. If you have nothing better to do than make inappropriate comments to young girls, you need to stick your head in an oven.

2. He laughs so hard at EVERYTHING. This should be an ego boost but it's just annoying. like sometimes i'll say something mildly funny, that maybe warrants a small laugh at best. He will fucking throw back his head and laugh. It doesn't make me feel good, it makes me feel like he's laughing AT me, like maybe I said something that can be taken the wrong way.

3. He seems to think he knows my job better than I do. I've worked at that cafe for a combined total of ten months. I know what I'm fucking doing. Today toward the end of my shift, he goes, "there are still two buckets of dishes out there." I was like, "okay, Moron, I'm still working on the dishes over here." I've worked here a long time, I know to periodically check and see if there are dishes out there. Trust me, I know what to do. Also, he's like, "yeah, so you just have to do those dishes and then clean up the dishpit." YES, DIPSHIT, I KNOW THAT. I worked evenings ALL THE TIME when I worked there during the summer, I'm pretty sure I know that i have to clean the dishpit before I leave. Dumbass. It's like he's on some sort of power trip and just feels the need to feel like he's the boss of the kitchen, even though I don't need him telling me how to do my job.

4. He feels that the dishwashers are his personal servants. Today he told us to sweep and mop the whole kitchen. Um, excuse me, that's part of YOUR closing duties, don't pretend it's not. You know why you got to leave ten minutes early? BECAUSE WE DID YOUR CLOSING DUTIES. We have shit to do. We have to do those nasty dishes that you brought fifteen minutes before close right after I was done cleaning everything (THANKS FOR THAT, BY THE WAY) and I have to reclean the whole dishpit and then sweep and mop. And no, I don't want to put burgers on the grill for you, because the night you asked me to do that I was working alone and had stuff to do. I wouldn't mind helping out any of the other cooks, because they're actually grateful for the help. Adam asked me to help him cut hot dogs and I was happy to help because he needed the help and he was grateful and after hesaid that he owed us one and he was actually good for it. Moron thinks it's his right to order us around. DISHWASHERS ARE VALID EMPLOYEES TOO. Related to this is he used to put a bus tub underneath the flat top and he put all his dirty dishes in it and expected us to come get it periodically. That is so demeaning. His schedule isn't so damn busy that he can't bring his dishes to the dishpit, or at least put them on the counter, and then I would be happy to come get them. I have shit to do, man. Also, the plate thing. He would always tell us to bring him plates while he was manning the pancake/hash brown station. You dumbfuck. If you can't walk three feet to grab your own goddamn plates, you need to walk off a bridge. This is something EVERY SINGLE OTHER COOK manages to do, so I'm sure you can fucking handle it. Another cook one day overheard Moron telling us to bring him plates and he's like, "The dishwashers have enough to do. Get your own plates." This is why I love Rob.

5. When he brings the shit at the end of the day for us to wash, he puts it on the counter. I'm usually doing other dishes and I need room because I put all the dishes in piles. every other cook puts the big stuff in the sinks for us to do later, but NOT MORON, no, that would just make my job TOO EASY. Ao now i have to take time out from furiously wiping dishes so I can get out of there by nine and put the big ass pans and shit into the sink. Rob always asks me where I want the stuff. That is also why I love him. Also, every single other cook manages to put the utensils into the designated utensil soaking bucket, but NOT MORON.

6. Yesterday he complained because I didn't fill the fry buckets up enough. Well dipshit, when you fill something with water (which i have to do so the fries don't turn black) it will rise to the top, you numbnuts. That's how physics works. I don't fill the buckets up to the top because WHEN I PUT THE LID ON THE WATER WILL OVERFLOW, YOU MORON.

But enough about Moron. Here are rants about my fellow dishwashers:

I believe that I've worked at that place longer than all but one of the dishwashers (who only works days) so I feel like I have seniority over everyone. Maybe that's an erroneous belief, but it's how I feel. As a result of that seniority, I ALWAYS wash, and rarely put away. I have a system when I wash dishes. The sooner you accept that, the happier I (and probably you) will be. I hate when I have a rack of plates started and then some bumblefuck thinks he's being helpful and starts putting the glasses on the tray with it. NO. You will wait until more plates show up, and then I will fill up the rack. You just keep putting away dishes. Also, it works way better when you put the glasses on the rack WITHOUT the little spikes. Trust me on this one. It also works better if you spray each plate and put it in a pile, letting them soak. This way, I don't have to scrub at them and I just spray them with water. Minimal effort. It just pisses me off when you put them in a pile without spraying them. More likely than not they will come out the other side with shit on them, and you're the one scraping that crap off (LORRAINE). When I'm washing dishes, don't sneak up and take my spot. No man, that's not how it works. As stated above, I WASH. Bobbi is apparently the only one who understands this and the only one who doesn't interfere with my system. If you're doing cutlery, PUT ALL OF IT IN THE SAME WAY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Occasionally, I enjoy helping out the putter awayer and taking the cutlery out to the waitress station and putting it away, partly for a change of scenery but mostly because I enjoy chatting with the waitresses. They're all my friends. The job takes twice as long if you put everything in every which way. Evenings are usually slow so it doesn't really matter, but on busy weekends it's really shitty.

Omg man, I do NOT need your TMI. I get it: I'm a listener. You feel like you can talk to me. THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO. I work with this guy whose primary personality trait is that he's gay. He's gay, whatever, I don't care. But that comes up in every single conversation and it's the only thing he talks about, and he tells me about having sex with his boyfriend and whatever and OMG I DON'T CARE. I wouldn't even enjoy that information from my straight friends. And today he spent approximately 348934267 minutes telling me IN DETAIL plot points of his favourite TV shows. Okay, maybe that's interesting when I'm familiar with the show, but when it's a show that I haven't heard of and it doesn't seem like I would be interested, I DON'T CARE TO HEAR EVERY EPISODE IN DETAIL. He also does this really annoying thing where he's like, "I went to the movies with Walker yesterday" when he hasn't mentioned this Walker person before, I don't know this Walker person, and I have no way of knowing who this person is. Just adding "my friend" or "my crush" before the name would make a world of difference. Also, don't fucking talk so much when we're rushing to get stuff done before our shift ends, or at least talk and work at the same time.

Last but not least, if I put something on the wall, DO NOT TAKE IT DOWN. My friend and I spent months creating "The Cute Wall." It had pictures of puppies, kittens, and one of Vin Diesel. It took forever to make that wall because we don't get many good newspapers in the bus tubs, and it made me happy because puppies are cute. Now it's just gone. We also had some kind of sparkly stickers and a sticker creation of my friend's that was basically Dora the Explorer getting fucked in the ass by a lizard. Both stickers were on the dishwasher. Those are also gone. Me, my friend, and one of the waitresses bonded over that cute wall. But now the dishpit is a boring place again. Granted, it may have been my bosses who took it down but still, what a shitty thing to do. Why would you do that? The wall wasn't doing anything. That thing was a work of art, and it made me happy, and made those shifts a little easier. Now I only have Moron to look at, and that's no consolation.

All THAT said, I really do like working there. It's definitely the best job I've ever had, and for the most part I enjoy the people. But I enjoy ranting about the few I dislike more.