Working Sucks

First and foremost, I totally forgot about my blog birthday. It turned four on June 7th.

In other news, the robins that live above our window have hatched! They're so cute/ugly, like Quasimodo.

Okay, work. Most of the time, I clean stuff and that's fine (except you'd think GROWN PEOPLE could take a shit without getting it all over the toilet, but you would be wrong) because then I don't have to deal with people. But sometimes I work in the store, and then I have to deal with customers. I'm not sure if most people realize this, but the sole purpose of people in the service industry are to get rid of customers in the fastest way possible so that they can get back to slacking off. Probably 90% of people in the service industry are thinking, "how can I get this douchebag out of here as fast as possible so I can get back to doing nothing?" Most people serving you hate you, so think of that next time you go to a store or restaurant. Anyway, sometimes people get mad at me because I don't understand what they want and briefly, I feel stupid but then I think, "This isn't my fault. The problem is these people never advanced intellectually beyond about the fifth grade level." To whit: This guy came in today, wanting a fishing license. I asked him if he was from Manitoba, and he said no. Then he confused me by saying he was, and then he confused me further by asking me all these weird questions about licenses. It's a yes or no question, for the love of God. Anyway, so I asked if he wanted a full or conservation license. He asked what the difference was. Okay so, a normal person asking that would want to know about the limits on the conservation. So that's what I told him and then, in the most condescending tone ever, he was like, "No, in the PRICE" as if I was a total moron for NOT FUCKING BEING TELEPATHIC and figuring out what he wanted. THEN he asked if we had hot dogs and burgers. I said yeah and pointed him toward the cooler. He was like, "no, do you have cooked ones?" and at this point I had no fucking clue what he wanted so I was like, "um...I don't know..." and he's like, "do you have a RESTAURANT?" again in the tone of voice that suggested I was a moron for not being telepathic and figuring out that by "hot dogs and hamburgers" he actually meant "restaurant." Who does that? Who fucking goes, "do you have hot dogs and hamburgers?" and actually means "do you have a restaurant?" THOSE ARE DIFFERENT FUCKING THINGS.

And people make these stupid "jokes" that are way too lame to actually be jokes. Like, I was putting a bottle of WD-40 on my boss's tab and this guy came in so I was serving him and he was like, "I don't want WD-40." HA HA, FUNNY, MORON. That's not even a joke. I don't know if he knows the definition of joke. I have to laugh and pretend they're hilarious so I don't get fired, but 99.9% of people who come in and try to be funny aren't. Also, I don't enjoy talking about the weather, so if you happen to come to the resort where I work, keep that in mind. The only thing people mention to me that I actually don't mind talking about are how gross it is touching live leeches.

My other main pet peeve is this. I have this sign that says "Housekeeping at work. We're sorry for the inconvenience." I put it on the bathroom doors when I clean them. Normal, lucid people see the sign, think, "Hmm, housekeeping is in there cleaning. I better come back later." But not old people and children! My boss told me the sign keeps people out, but she lied. The sign doesn't do jack shit. Like once this guy came in while I was in there and then I had to leave and come back later, and then he talked to me for like ten minutes about my life plans, when all I wanted to do was finish cleaning those fucking bathrooms. Another time this kid wandered in and used a toilet I HAD JUST FINISHED CLEANING. Then, my favourite. I had just gotten into the men's washroom and some guy took like a minute to unlock the door, first of all. Then he jumped in surprise when he saw me. Like, what the fuck was he expecting? There's a sign saying "housekeeping at work" and then he finds housekeeping in there. IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S A FUCKING SURPRISE. But sure, you just GO AHEAD and walk into the washrooms when someone's in there cleaning! He was like to me, "I saw the sign and I was like, 'hmm, never seen that before.'" So instead of assuming someone's in there cleaning, he apparently assumes that I just randomly put up this sign on the bathrooms for shits and giggles. I wish people would just STAY THE FUCK out of the bathrooms, because I have a list of things I have to do everyday and I don't appreciate stupid people keeping me from completing the list.

Oh, and then there are the people who mistake the supply room for the public laundry. The first time I wasn't there, but this woman wandered in and used the washing machines before she realized that wasn't the public laundry room. Like, FUCK. You walk in and there are all these cleaning supplies RIGHT THE FUCK IN FRONT OF YOU. To the right are shelves with sheets and towels and like, a vacuum cleaner and mop and shit. Isn't it obvious it's a supply room for housecleaning? What kind of public laundry has sheets and towels in it? Believe it or not, people have mistaken it for the public laundry TWICE. And once I was in there folding laundry at this table that's right the fuck in front of this huge-ass window. This lady wandered around like she was fucking senile and came right up to the window. I had no idea what to do so I just didn't acknowledge her and hoped she would go away. She came up and stared into the window, noticed me, and smiled. I smiled and waved and she stared a little more into the room and left. Who does that? First of all, that room really isn't that exciting. Like I said, it's a bunch of cleaning supplies and towels and shit. But who would continue staring into a room with someone RIGHT THERE? Old people are so strange.

Whew. That felt good getting that all out. The only thing that keeps me sane at work is bitching in my head about all the stupid people I come into contact with, but sometimes it just has to come out.