The Host Redux Chapters 35-38

Chapter 35
Tried

Ian and Wanderer bond for like five pages. It's boring.

Kyle's having a tribunal. They argue. Kyle gets to live but he'll die if he tries again. This chapter could have been a lot shorter.

Chapter 36
Believed

“Jared got a new ball?” someone asked.
Pedobear, that's not going to make you any more brave.

Jared had a shiny new soccer ball in his
hand; he held it out, and Isaiah, the older child, jumped up and down trying to knock it from his hand.
This reminds me of a funny story. Last year I was in a class called rock band, which was a music class where you played rock/pop songs. We played a concert at an elementary school and a bunch of kids where talking to the drummer (whose name I, weirdly, can't recall right now, so I will refer to him as My Bro. He's not actually my brother, but we're friends and we fist bump each other). One of the kids jumped up and grabbed his drumstick and fucking RAN. My Bro shrugged and gave away the other drumstick, and then minutes later we heard an announcement saying "Whoever took a drum stick, please bring it back to the rock band in the gym." It was funny.

I was able to get onto all fours, and then I pulled my good leg forward so I was kneeling on the bad. It hurt.
No shit, you dumbass. This reminds me of the best birthday party ever. I was at Katherine's house and Kat, Maria, and I were sleeping on the hideabed. Kat's brother came in to watch Pokemon and then after he was like, "what do you want to watch?" and I was joking and I was like, "oh, Barney" so Mar, Michael, and I watched Barney. This one kid was talking about how he got stung by a bee and he was like, "Yesterday, I got stung by a bee. It hurt." But he said it in this completely deadpan voice like he didn't care. It was so funny. Side note: At the same birthday, Michael threw the remote to me and it hit the sleeping Kat. She farted SO LOUDLY when it hit her. It was hilarious. We all started laughing but she never woke up. That was like ten years ago and Mar still remembers it.

Anyhoo. Pedobear helps Wanderer because she's like falling over or whatever and then they bond. I guess at this point we're supposed to think that Pedobear is a sweet guy, but I still think he's loathesome.

“I can see that.” He touched my battered face with one fingertip. “Sorry.”
“No. Anyone would do the same. I know what you must have felt.”
"I'm sorry I made you hit me, sweetie!"

Kyle says he won't kill Wanderer because she saved his life.

Chapter 37
Wanted

“Ah…” I frowned. “I don't really know. I suppose there's still a mat by the ho–
That would be Lucina, that slut.

Oh, the testosterone is choking me:
And then a strong arm was under my arms, supporting my weight.
“I'll get her where she needs to go,” Ian said.
Jared's face was careful, the way he looked at me when he didn't want me to know what he
was thinking. But he was looking at Ian now.
“We were just discussing where exactly that would be. She's tired. Maybe the hospital… ?”
I shook my head at the same time Ian did. After the past horrible days spent there, I didn't think
I could bear the room I'd once misguidedly feared. Especially Walter's empty bed…
“I've got a better place for her,” Ian said. “Those cots aren't much softer than rock, and she's
got a lot of sore spots.”
Jared still held my hand. Did he realize how tightly he was gripping it? The pressure was
starting to get uncomfortable, but he didn't seem aware. And I certainly wasn't going to
complain.
“Why don't you get lunch?” Jared suggested to Ian. “You look hungry. I'll take her wherever
you had planned… ?”
Ian chuckled, a low, dark sound. “I'm fine. And honestly, Jared, Wanda needs a bit more help
than a hand. I don't know if you're… comfortable enough with the situation to give her that.
You see –”
Ian paused to lean down and pull me quickly up into his arms. I gasped as the movement
tugged at my side. Jared didn't free my hand. My fingertips were turning red.
“–she's actually had enough exercise for one day, I think. You go on ahead to the kitchen.”
Oh, here's an idea. Why don't you ask Wanderer where she wants to go?

And, the dumbest sequence in this book (yes, it beats out the ice sculpting bears)
They stared at each other while my fingertips turned purple.
“I can carry her,” Jared finally said in a low voice.
“Can you?” Ian challenged. He held me out, away from his body.
An offer.
An OFFER? Are you shitting me? SHE'S A SENTIENT BEING, not a goddamn vase.

“The girl in there…” Jared said slowly.
“Yes?”
“That body doesn't belong to her.”
“Your point?”
Jared's voice was hard when he answered. “Keep your hands off it.”
Or, you could ask the GIRL what she wants. Shocking concept, I know.

“No, you fool, Wanda!”
You fool! Ian gets jealous because Pedobear implies that he kissed Wanderer/Melanie.

Chapter 38
Touched

Now they're having this completely academic and logic-driven discussion about their feelings about each other. Somehow, I think it should be different.

He pressed them only lightly to mine, and then brushed them back and forth across my mouth.
Lmfao, I'm not sure that's how kissing works. I imagine this as being like an Eskimo kiss but with lips.

Oh ho, so Pedobear is trying to get Wanderer to move back in with him and Jamie. HOW TRICKY.