Ib and Little Christina

This is a fairy tale I have never heard of before. Ib is an interesting name. Also, here are the morals for Little Claus and Big Claus.

Moral of the story: I honestly have no idea what we're supposed to learn. Be resourceful? I guess.

Moral I learned: You can get lots of stuff if you exploit your grandmother's dead body.

Okay, Ib and Little Christina.

There's a little house surrounded by really bad soil. Here lives a shoemaker named Jeppe Jans and his assistant, Ib. They make shoes and, randomly, spoons. One day Ib made miniature shoes out of two little sticks and decided to give them to Little Christina. I'm not sure why the modifier is here, really. I'm just going to call her Christina.

Then it says, "And who was Little Christina?" and it's in quotes, so it's like someone's speaking, but really they aren't. The quotation marks are unnecessary. Come on, Hans. Anyhoo, Christina is a boatman's daughter. Ib and Christina are partners in everything and divide their food and stuff. She's six, Ib is seven. I'm just throwing that out there now, in case this story turns squicky.

Christina's father buys a bunch of eels and a pig (?) and Christina and Ib are stupid and let the pig fall into the stream where it floats away. Good going, guys.

What? Wtf just happened? It says like, "This is a big disaster!" and Ib and Christina are so distraught that they RUN AWAY. Instead of, you know, GOING AFTER THE PIG.

Presently they heard the frightful scream again, and Christina said, “We shall get into trouble about that pig.”
Or, you know, for running away.

Then they decide to go to Ib's house but they both get lost and start crying. Then an old lady comes out of the woods and gives them three "wishing nuts". I've heard wishing lamp, but not nuts ever.

“Is there in this nut a carriage, with a pair of horses?” asked Ib.

“Yes, there is a golden carriage, with two golden horses,” replied the woman.

“Then give me that nut,” said Christina; so Ib gave it to her, and the strange woman tied up the nut for her in her handkerchief.

Ib held up another nut. “Is there, in this nut, a pretty little neckerchief like the one Christina has on her neck?” asked Ib.

“There are ten neckerchiefs in it,” she replied, “as well as beautiful dresses, stockings, and a hat and veil.”

“Then I will have that one also,” said Christina; “and it is a pretty one too.” And then Ib gave her the second nut.

The third was a little black thing. “You may keep that one,” said Christina; “it is quite as pretty.”

You are too kind, Christina. She's a selfish little brat, isn't she? Then again, what would Ib want with dresses and stockings?

Then the old woman tells them how to get home and they don't get in trouble. Ib opens his nut which is supposed to hold "the best of all things". Instead it holds dirt. Well, maybe you should try WISHING on the WISHING NUT. DUH.

Then Hans randomly shoehorns in a bit about Ib's confirmation. Yes, HCA, we get it, you are religious. But since his confirmation has absolutely no bearing on the story, it's not really necessary.

After Ib’s confirmation, he remained at home with his mother, for he had become a clever shoemaker...

I thought that said he had become a clever SMOKER.

So the years pass and Christina goes to become a housekeeper and then she comes back to visit Ib and she's all rich and Ib's like, "Do you want to get married?" and she's like, "Meh, we can wait a bit." Harsh.

They're like engaged but they only exchange two letters in a year. Then Ib finds out that this other rich guy wants to marry Christina but she refused because she knows Ib loves her but Ib's like, "No, she shouldn't refuse this good fortune."

Then Ib writes her this really sweet letter about how he loves her but can't offer her much so she should think of herself. He seems like one of those super nice guys who never gets the girl. Like the character that James Marsden plays in Superman Returns and X-Men.

Then it's kind of confusing because it doesn't actually SAY it, but Christina gets married to this other guy like, immediately after getting the letter. Also harsh. She sounds like kind of a bitch. But unfortunately, she and her husband didn't know how to save money and I think she's getting poor.

And for him the nut had contained only black earth. The gypsy woman had said it was the best for him. Perhaps it was, and this also would be fulfilled. He understood the gypsy woman’s meaning now. The black earth—the dark grave—was the best thing for him now.

Whoa, HCA. That's...dark.

Then Ib finds treasure in the soil. OH, HCA, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR. So Ib goes to the city to sell this stuff and gets "a large sum" 600 LARGE, ZOMG. Then he finds a kid who randomly starts crying, then he really sees her and it's Christina's kid! Then the kid leads him to Christina, who is poor and sick. Her husband's wealth went to his head and he spent it all. The husband died and Christina's youngest kid died. Then Christina dies, and Ib takes her daughter and raises her. Check out this last line:

Ib had money now—money which had come to him out of the black earth; and he had Christina for his own, after all.

Shades of pedophilia.

Moral of the story: Don't become overwhelmed by wealth? Not too sure.

Moral I learned: If you don't handle money well your husband will die, your kid will die, then you will die.