Twilight Chapters 5 and 6

Chapters 5- Blood Type

You guys, I can't stop watching the movie. I'm on my third viewing and it never gets old. IT IS SO HILARIOUS. It's stupidly earnest and unrealistic. Also, THANK GOD THE VAN SCENE MAKES SENSE IN IT. Also, I love Charlie and Billy. Like, I LOVE Charlie. He's my favourite character. He never does anything wrong except when he didn't care that Bella broke her hand fending off Jacob. AND I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT CARLISLE'S FACE.

This is harder to get through than Breaking Dawn, and it's made worse by reading Midnight Sun, which is basically the same except when Edward goes to Alaska for like two pages and looks at the stars.

"Sit with me Bella. I'm tired of staying away. But you shouldn't be friends with me!"

I had been vacillating during the last month between Bruce Wayne
and Peter Parker.
Dude. Duuuuude. Batman is way awesomer than Edward. Also, BRUCE WAYNE ISN'T SUPER STRONG, YOU DUMB BITCH. His APPEAL is that he's badass but he DOESN'T have superpowers. Peter Parker is also not super strong. Superman is. And he can move super fast, so he would probably be the best bet IF SMEYER KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT COMIC BOOKS.

"Aren't you hungry?" he asked, distracted.
"No." I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full — of
butterflies.
FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I blinked, my mind going blank. Holy crow, how did he do that?
Hee. HOLY CROW.

"Dang," I sighed.
There are ways of keeping your books clean with resorting to words like, "dang", "holy crow", and "sour grapes." Cameron Dokey, Meg Cabot, Garry Kilworth, Gail Carson Levine, Scott Westerfield, and Libba Bray don't have swearing in their books (as far as I can remember) but didn't slip into lameness as far as I can tell.

"The Red Cross is having a blood drive in Port Angeles next weekend, so I
thought you should all know your blood type." He sounded proud of himself.
"Those of you who aren't eighteen yet will need a parent's permission — I have
slips at my desk."
I don't know if it's different in the States or if this is a critical research failure but when I gave blood:
a) You don't need to know your blood type beforehand (that's part of the reason why you give blood in the first place) and
b) You only have to be sixteen.

I READ ALL THIS IN MIDNIGHT SUN ALREADY. So really, it's like I've read Twilight three times.

You know what? I don't want to commentary this chapter. I already did it in Midnight Sun.

Gym. Is not. Capitalized.

We were near the parking lot now. I veered left, toward my truck. Something
caught my jacket, yanking me back.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, outraged. He was gripping a
fistful of my jacket in one hand.
I was confused. "I'm going home."
SO FRIGHTENING. I feel so sorry for those girls who want their own Edward Cullen because they are going to end up in the hospital.

"She [her mom] looks a lot like me, but she's prettier," I said. He raised his eyebrows. "I
have too much Charlie in me. She's more outgoing than I am, and braver. She's
irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she's a very unpredictable cook. She's
my best friend." I stopped.
I LOVE this. For being her BEST FRIEND, she is sure not mentioned a lot and Bella doesn't seem to want to tell her anything.

Okay, off topic: My second favourite part of the movie (the first being when Edward abruptly walks away) is when Bella's like, "I need some anwers" and Edward's like, "Yes. No. To get to the other side?" It's the only funny thing Edward EVER SAYS, and it didn't come from the mind of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 6- Scary Stories

Blah blah, La Push blah flirting with Jacob blah.

Of course, I'd kicked up enough
tantrums to end the fishing trips by the time I was eleven.
Selfless, my ass.

Hey. Does Lauren ever show up in any other books other than Twilight? I think she's in New Moon, but I don't remember her being in any other books.

"So you're, what, sixteen?" I asked, trying not to look like an idiot as I fluttered
my eyelids the way I'd seen girls do on TV.
No one actually flutters their EYELIDS.

Hey, Sam's in this book. I don't remember him ever being in Twilight. Crazy.

Blah blah Cold Ones blah.