Ghost Chapters 12 and 13

Yesterday's chapters picked up quite a bit. I'm almost excited to do the readings this week. I'm sure that will change after actually doing the readings, so please pretend I never said anything. Also, these recaps may be tinged with melancholy, since my beautiful blue betta, Krycek, is currently dying. Apparently I am the worst fish keeper ever, because according to teh interwebs, I am doing the opposite of everything I'm supposed to. And yet I don't care enough to go to the petstore and change. Sorry Krycek. After he dies though, I'm getting another one. What to name him? Krycek II? Frohike? Sculder? Mully? Skinner? Hmm.

Chapter 12

I can't believe how much of a wish fulfillment story this is. Mike is now having his wounds treated by a beautiful, naked coed. Subtlety is not your forte, Ringo.

"You're good people," Mike said, coughing. "The reason I did this is I just fucking care too much, okay? I'm a bad guy, I know that, but I care, too. Too much. I'm sorry about what I said."
Come on, Mike. You're a pathetic, psycho stalker. The reason you did this was to see a bunch of naked chicks, don't lie.

There are some random people here and I don't know who they are. I'm getting deus ex machina vibes here, but nothing is clear.

Between the two of them they got him into the torture room and laid out by the dais. Then, with a great deal of trepidation, Britney picked up one of the rifles.

"How do you use this?" she asked Amy.

"First of all," Amy said carefully, "you put the safety on."

"What's a safety?"

This is going to turn out well.

"It's just fucking bodies, sir," he replied. "I mean, lots and lots of bodies, piled up on each other. Like a Doom game scene, up to your knees in gore. It's so fucking cool."
HAHAHAHAHAHA I remember Doom! Well, mostly I remember watching my brother play Doom on the computer and there was like, a pile of bodies with bones sticking out the top, and I didn't know what it was and I was like, "what is that?" and my sister's like, "birthday cake!" It was awesome.

Yup, deus ex machina.

Chapter 13

Go away, random SEAL named Roman. I hate Mike but at least there's always something to comment about when he's around.

"Sir," he said. "We have a problem."

"Say again, Roman?" the OIC replied. "You're broken."

"We have a problem," Roman said, stepping back up the stairs. "None of these girls have any clothes on."

"That was in the brief, Roman," the chief growled. "You should have been listening instead of high-fiving Sherman."

"Maybe I kinda caught that in the brief, Chief," Roman said. "But they Don't. Have. Any. Clothes. On."

Just putting that out there.

"She can't hear, that blast got her pretty bad. I'm Babe, at least that's what Ghost called me, for Babe Ruth since I was throwing grenades."
I'm kind of confused as to why she's introducing herself to the SEAL with Mike's nickname of her, and not her real name.

So all the SEALS are getting distracted by all the naked girls and COME ON, GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.

Everyone's super happy because Mike cut off the head of I BELIEVE the president of wherever they are (Iraq? Can't remember. Or maybe they're still in the US. At this point, I don't think it really matters) and the president it just like super excited. Weird. I will never understand guys.

"This might be the wrong time to say this and the wrong thing to say, but please don't let what happened to you turn you into . . . something you don't want to be. We went through a lot to get here and secure the position. I won't get into the whole story except to say that we had to drop through the middle of a dogfight overhead and I lost two of my men when we were nearly hit by an F-15 fighter. We came here to rescue, Ghost fought to rescue, what you . . . were. Nice, decent, lovely young ladies who were just . . . getting on with your lives. This experience is, yeah, going to scar you. But when you get to thinking that all men are horrible assholes because of what you went through, or some friend tells you that, or some therapist tells you that, or some professor tells you that, or, hell, you run into some guy who is an asshole, think about us, too, and Ghost. If you turn your backs on the good guys . . . well . . . we'll still come for you whenever you need us, but it will take all of the joy out of what we do, what we've done. This is . . . what we live for. In the end, you ladies are what we fight and die for. Don't turn your backs on us, too."
Are you SERIOUS? This is basically THE SAME FUCKING SPEECH MIKE GAVE TO THAT OTHER CHICK when he was all, "DON'T TURN INTO A LESBIAN BECAUSE THE GOOD GUYS WANT ACTION TOO." Ringo makes me sick.

"Call the two girls with her Bambi and Thumper."
Or, you know, you can learn their ACTUAL fucking names. Okay, I tried to make this less expletive filled than the Twilight recaps but SOMETIMES NORMAL WORDS JUST AREN'T STRONG ENOUGH.

"Clothes, boss," the chief said, shaking his head. "Miss, you're about the age of my daughter. Could you maybe put on some clothes? I know she started getting funny about being naked when she was ten. And I surely would like to get you out of here. There's a plane waiting to take you back to the United States. Your family is waiting. Could you please come back to us?"
Could he sound MORE like a closet pedo?

"No man can hurt a girl that's piggyback," the chief said.
WTF is this shit? What is he talking about?

Hey, today's readings were surprisingly not brain busting, so that was cool. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.