The Host Chapter 33

Chapter 33- Doubted

So to recap, Wanderer was attacked by Kyle and he crumbled rocks with his feet and started to fall into a stream or something and I DON'T UNDERSTAND SMEYER'S PHYSICS and Wanderer is trying to save him now.

Now Ian comes to save her YAY! I am disconcerted to feel a frisson when Ian is mentioned. NO I MUST NOT LIKE ANY OF SMEYER'S CHARACTERS. NO NO NO NO NO.

He dropped to all fours and scuttled to me, his eyes burning in the light of dawn. SO Harlequin!

“Don't let go,” he cautioned. Wow Ian, that's great advice. I'm sure she was thinking, "hmm, I'm sure we'll all survive if I let go." Good thing you were there to tell her not to let Kyle go!

He assessed for another second, and then slid his body behind mine, pushing me closer to the
rock. His arms were longer than mine. Even with me in the way, he was able to get his hands
around his brother. Ohh, I SEE. The Hands On Approach!
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HandsOnApproach. The hands on approach was done a lot better by The X-Files. So let me get this straight: instead of going around on the side where he would have had a better grip on Kyle AND he wouldn't have had Wanderer in the way, he decides to put his arms around Wanderer and grab Kyle that way? I can't help but feel this was done solely as a ship tease. Because nobody in their right mind would ever think that was a good idea otherwise.

Oh shit. Ian asks what Wanderer was doing with Kyle and Wanderer doesn't say anything but asks Melanie what will happen to him. Melanie says he'll be killed. OBVIOUSLY SHE'S GOING TO LIE NOW. I totally see where this is going. She'll lie to save Kyle's life, Ian will hate her and she'll be kicked out where she will wander (ha) around for awhile and then she'll be kidnapped by a Seeker and Ian will somehow know where she is and come save her in the nick of time. This is like a romcom with aliens.

Maybe Ian will beat the snot out of him first. Nobody ever says "beat the snot out of him" anymore. It's shit. "Beat the SHIT out of him."

Okay, never mind. I was wrong. She does lie, but Ian doesn't fall for it.

He slid into me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He pulled me close against his chest–I could feel his breath go in and out, still more ragged than normal. You know how you do romance in sci fi? You do a Han Solo/Princess Leia type deal, where there's UST and then they finally realize they love each other, although Leia is way way way more badass than Wanderer. Or you do a Sam/Jack or Mal/Inara type deal where the UST is never resolved. Or a Mulder/Scully where it takes forever for them to fall in love. I do NOT want this weird, kind of icky romance. They're DIFFERENT SPECIES. Sometimes I read the backs of harlequin romances because they're hilarious, and while killing time in the Dollar Store before work I was doing that, and there was one about a hot alien who came in through this girl's window, and it creeped me out. Aliens. Humans. Not the same species, guys! However, I could probably enjoy this romance more if I didn't hate Wanderer so much. But at least Smeyer's getting better with her characters. In Twilight, I hated the male AND female lead. Now I only hate the female lead. If she ever writes another book (which I will definitely read, because I am a masochist) I might just like both the male and female lead, and I could ignore the sexism and annoying characters and just enjoy it as a guilty pleasure. But I doubt that will happen.

Okay, here's Ghost Brandt again. I honestly don't know what his deal is.

I started to speak, but Ian put his fingers on my lips. Do I have to say AGAIN how harlequin this is?

Whoa. WHOA. Pedobear's here. WHEN DID HE APPEAR? Whoa, never mind, I guess I just skimmed over the part where they mentioned him the first time.

asdkjfajkhfasf I HATE PEDOBEAR.

He ducked in and touched his lips to my forehead. Whoa. WHOA. Random! I wish I didn't hate Wanderer with the fire of a thousand suns or I could enjoy the UST finally being kind of resolved. I mean, I like chick lit as much as the next girl. But I HATE Wanderer, and I'm kind of squicked out for a number of reasons. One, she's an alien, Ian is human. And two, she acts like and by her own admission is still a child. And he's a grown man.

Now here's another couple of people who haven't been mentioned before and probably won't ever again. There's a Wes and an Aaron.

“Stars, but he's heavy,” Jeb grunted. Oh Jeb. Don't ever change.

He started to shift his weight, trying to look around. “The floor… is moving.…” "They light up...like little...angels..."

Jared moved to stand between my cot and Kyle's, his back to me, his eyes on the big man. Kyle rolled his head back and forth, groaning.
“You're safe,” Jared said in a low voice. He didn't look at me. “Don't be afraid.” I'm so sure you're randomly protective of her now Pedobear. People in Smeyer's books randomly change personalities. I guess all Wanderer had to do was make him jealous! a;jklsdfklasf Wanderer, why are you still so hung up on Pedobear? Ian's actually decent and he doesn't make me want to throw up.