The Host Chapter 30

Way back in chapter 24, I corrected Smeyer on the use of the word "unobserving". I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and double check that I wasn't mistaken. I wasn't. Unobserving is so totally not word, and it's doubly confirmed by the fact that it is currently underlined in red. SERIOUSLY. Does nobody edit her work? I mean, they're full of nonexistent words, incorrect syntax, words used incorrectly, grammar mistakes. Not to mention they're just badly written. She mentions stuff and then forgets about it, she doesn't flesh out any characters, they're full of purple prose, they're boring, and they're blatantly misogynistic. I don't want to be rude toward Mormons but...were her books edited by a Mormon run publishing house who just decided to publish her because she's Mormon? I'm not trying to be mean here. I really want to know. Because otherwise how could these monstrosities get published, ostensibly without being edited? I guess I could understand how someone could think the actual story was publish worthy. It's inexplicable popularity has proven that. But how could it get by with so many basic grammar mistakes?

Chapter 30- Abbreviated

Weird words:
That's rich

Pedobear is trying to find her again and you know what, it kind of reminds me of when a victim is running and hiding away from a psychopath and they're calling out mockingly. I'm fairly certain that happened with Scully and Donnie Pfaster and that was not a sexy episode. That was a FREAKY episode and Donnie Pfaster SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME. And then they had to bring him back AGAIN in season 7 and freak me out more. So, the point of this little ramble is that when your paramour reminds you of Donnie Pfaster, RUN.

So anyway, Pedobear says he loves Melanie and Wanderer is biting her lip and holding her breath until she turns blue. Dear GOD, THREE YEAR OLD CHILD TANTRUM MUCH? "I'm going to hold my breath until you say you love me!" Anyway, now I think she's all like, twisted up in that hole she was in before and she's worried about telling Jamie and Jeb (who hasn't shown up for awhile. I think he died) that Pedobear kissed her as a test. I just noticed that all three have "J" names. Maybe they're like Bencharskis, where they named all their kids names with the first letter "J" and then when they didn't bad things happened.

Melanie's mad at Wanderer because she kissed Jared and Wanderer feels betrayed because she thinks it's not fair that Melanie is mad that Wanderer is having feelings that Melanie basically forced on her. I'm...not sure which side to take in this fight. They're both so annoying.

Abruptly, the pain in my bruised, twisted back was too much. The straw on the camel. Yay, MORE CLICHES.

Now she's trying to get out somehow. This seems like another example of Smeyer's screwed up physics, but I'm so not awake enough to try to decipher what is currently happening.

Now she's sleeping and crying and blah blah blah WANDERER IS SO ANNOYING.

They FINALLY addressed the fact that Jeb hasn't been around for how long. Smeyer is such a bad writer, I'm just throwing that out there.

I considered eating something from the supply pile in the hole–after all, I'd already damaged
pretty much everything, maybe destroyed some. But that only made me feel guiltier about the
idea of taking more. I'd go scavenge some rolls from the kitchen. AJKSDHFAKJSLFSF SELF SACRIFICING AS;LDHFAKJLSH. ANNOYING AKDLADSFHD WANT TO KILL HER ADSFJHSFDKJLSDF.

“Your eyes are red,” he whispered. “Was he mean to you?”
“No.” After all, people weren't intentionally cruel to lab rats–they were just trying to get
information. I seriously have no more comments about this. I just don't. I am out of words. I just, I don't even know what to say. I can't rant about this anymore. She's not even self-deprecating in a good way, like Chuck Klosterman. She's just self-depracating in a "makes me want to kill her" way. When people constantly put themselves down in the hopes that someone will bring them up, it just makes me want to put them down more. And I am nothing if not obliging: Wanderer, you're irritating.

“Let it go, Wanda. Ian says you're too self-sacrificing for your own good.” Finally, someone notices.

Trudy and Heidi were baking rolls in the kitchen and sharing a bright green, juicy apple. They
took turns taking bites. Who does that? SERIOUSLY?

A few others missing: Travis, Carol, Ruth Ann. Who the hell are these people? And who is Brandt? She keeps throwing out these names but never adequately explaining who these people are OR ever mentioning them again. Now they're all waiting to hear her teach. Yay, more sweet, cutesy, diabetes inducing aliens! Okay, just think of Jabba the Hutt. The EBE from X-Files. Wraith. Goa'ould. That scary psychopathic alien from the X-Files movie. The Bodysnatchers. The Cantina Band dudes. Okay, now my breathing has slowed. I can continue reading.

Now Wanderer's talking about how the six dudes who were on the raid (no women, natch) can't get used to how everyone is okay with Wanderer being around. Wanderer is teaching again and Geoffrey asks if she knows anything about their medicine and she says no, that good health has been a given on every planet. Geoffrey gets pissed off and Ian changes the subject quickly. I guess Geoffrey is sick or something. I can't bring myself to care.

Heath, sitting beside Geoffrey, patted his arm. HA they're gay!

Walter has cancer and he's dying.
“Well, he says your name sometimes; it's hard to tell
what he means–Doc's keeping him drunk to help with the pain.” Just like they used to do it back in the day! I think Smeyer's past life was a delicate Victorian duchess and it's increasingly taking over her body.

Ian, Jamie, and Wanderer are going to see Walter because it's his dying wish to see Wanderer. AH isn't that adorable. It's just like a Lurlene McDaniel novel. Anyway, they meet Kyle who freaks out. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. Oh never mind, he just left. Jamie and Ian are both holding one of Wanderer's hands. I thought she was like a thousand years old. Did she suddenly regress like 995 years in a few minutes? If anyone was protecting me and they held both my hands, I would be angry, to be honest. It's so patronizing. but Wanderer never stands up for herself so of course she doesn't do anything.

I was feeling guilty–it seemed to be a permanent
emotional state here. Guilt and fear and heartbreak. Why had I come? At first I thought that said, "what had I become?" and I was like, "YES, Wanderer, you've FINALLY recognized that you're pathetic!" But no.

Oh weird. Wanderer went to see Walter and he called her Gladys and said he had so much to tell her.