The Host- Chapter 8

Chapter 8- Loved

I knew it would only be a matter of time until Smeyer thought of a way to bring Arizona into this! I guess Smeyer finally decided that she couldn't not mention Arizona, so conveniently, Fords Deep Waters is now in Arizona instead of Chicago. There is no clear reason for this change. Wanderer is going to see him about Melanie and her Seeker is mad because Wanderer doesn't want to fly there. Wanderer is considering leaving earth but she doesn't know where else she would go. She's just too friggin picky to choose another one.

They keep mentioning city names. If aliens took over, wouldn't they change the place names/never bother to remember them? Personally, if I was to take over Mars, I wouldn't call their capital city like, Zargon475 or whatever. I would probably rename it Awesomeville or something.

Souls were sociable. We lived and worked and grew together in harmony. We were all the same: peaceful, friendly, honest. Gag me. This is like a bad episode of Fraggle Rock.

Now I present to you...an evening in Melanie's memories! Melanie and Jared are in a cabin or something. Melanie mentions that Jared smiles all the time, even in his sleep. Maybe he's smiling because he's having an, ahem, happy dream?

I just have to take issue with the way Smeyer handled the two beings in one body thing. The Host is reminding me more and more of an Animorphs book where Cassie gets implanted with a Yeerk and then she proceeds to convince him that what the Yeerks are doing is wrong. It was such a thrilling psychological battle of wits and it still stands as one of my favourite Animorphs books. Smeyer is not handling this concept well at all. I mean, literally months have passed although the way she writes, it seems like a few days. Melanie only speaks like, once every few weeks. We're supposed to be rooting for her (I assume) but we don't know anything about her or her personality. I can't bring myself to care about her. She doesn't even seem to be fighting with Wanderer for possession of her body. I thought that was going to be the point of the book, but I guess not. I'm not sure what the point of the book is, to be honest.

Now, to continue. Oh fuck, she keeps mentioning how beautiful Jared is. MUST EVERY MALE LOVE INTEREST BE BEAUTIFUL?

I peek into the one narrow little bedroom. The full-size mattress is only inches away from the
rough stone walls on either side. Ooh, sexy! Maybe in THIS book we'll see some actual non blurred out ACTION.

Oh never mind, it's just her brother on the bed.

“Yes, I am,” I agree. I take a deep breath to make me brave. “But if you go, I go.” Oh for fuck's sake. Here is yet another heroine super devoted to her man.

Hemust feel the same way I do. Would he say these things if he thought of me as just another
human, and not as a woman? Paraphrased: "I may be a warrior...but I am also a woman!"

HA HA HA HA. Melanie says that Jared can share the bed with her (HINT HINT) and he thinks she's doing it because she feels obligated. He thinks that she wants to pay him back with her BODY.

They're the last man and woman on earth and they just HAPPEN to love each other. I like how they never really had a choice. Like the whole squicky imprinting thing and how Bella could never choose to live without Edward.

Does this not ALSO sound like Edward:

“It was a miracle–more than a miracle–when I found you, Melanie. Right now, if I was given
the choice between having the world back and having you, I wouldn't be able to give you up.
Not to save five billion lives.”
“That's wrong.”
“Very wrong but very true.”

I don't know what it is exactly, but the cadence of the conversation and the way she writes the dialogue reminds me of the "you are exactly my brand of heroin" conversation from Twilight. I can almost pretend that I'm reading some awful Twilight sequel.

Oooooh SQUICK ALERT!

“But…”
“But?” How can there be a but? What could possibly follow all this fire that starts with a but?
“But you're seventeen, Melanie. And I'm twenty-six.”

For one thing, you're already halfway to statutory rape, buddy. You've been making out for like a minute. For another, wow, for being reluctant to be with her, you are sending ALL THE WRONG SIGNALS. And for a third, SMEYER, WHY CAN'T YOUR LOVERS EVER BE REMOTELY CLOSE TO THE SAME AGE? I mean, 17/26 is way better than 17/108 or whatever, but still. Does she get off on May-December relationships? I'm just trying to imagine what it would be like to date someone ten years older than me. My sister has a couple of friends ten years older than I am and...I would SO not want to date them.

Oh please. He's all "But you're too young! It wouldn't be right!" Yeah right dude. You've been alone for years. You're totally horny. And he is TOTALLY pulling an Edward; in sexual matters, he is sensible, he has integrity, and he would rather die than take advantage of a woman. He's like Harry Dresden, only less awesome. And Melanie is pulling a Bella; she wants nothing but to get it on with her man. Some character diversity, please? How does Smeyer manage to consistently get published when she basically just recycles the same characters and conventions.

HA HA HA HA HA. He has this hideout in the middle of the woods and HE FORGOT TO BRING CONDOMS! But in classic Smeyer fashion, he can't say condoms. He has to imply it in a completely roundabout way. I'm sure you brought Saran wrap. Or latex gloves or something. IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEX IT UP, MACGYVER A CONDOM. Be resourceful.

Whoa, buddy, she just wants to fuck. What do you have to go and bring up kids for?