The Host Chapter 24

Chapter 24- Tolerated

Weird words:
Somnolent

I wonder what will happen in this chapter. Maybe Wanderer will be tolerated.

It was true that I did not smell good. This whole BOOK doesn't smell good. Namely, it gives off the aroma of shit.

So Wanderer's been with the humans for like two weeks and she hasn't changed clothes. You'd think they would think of that. I mean, Uncle Jeb has been so welcoming but he hasn't offered clothes?

She is now wearing a flannel shirt of Jeb's (in the DESERT? Really?) and random holey cutoff sweats that I guess they just found lying around (Maybe they belonged to Jacob).

Can Jeb get ANY MORE backwoods-y? He made homemade cactus soap? Is that even possible? Do cacti have the properties of soap? I mean, you can't just MAKE soap out of any old plant that grows.

And Madame Helene showed up again! She's bathing with three other guys. ORGY!

Argh Wanderer is SO ANNOYING. She's always so sad and emo and whiny and like a whipped puppy. If she would just fight back or SOMETHING I wouldn't be as annoyed with her. Even if Melanie talked once in a while, I don't think I would be as annoyed.

It seemed as if the places where the bruises had formed were more sensitive
than the rest of me–they must still have been there. Your powers of perception are astounding.

He raised one arm, extending his long, pale fingers toward my neck. I flinched away, and he
dropped his hand quickly. WTF was he trying to do? Caress her? That's...weird. Also, it reminds me of Salad Fingers. "Do you like when the red water comes out?"

Reading all Smeyer's books, I can't help but feel that they have SO MUCH POTENTIAL in the hands of a better writer. I know science fiction, and I'm getting a HUGE urge to rewrite this book, but better.

He chattered about his day in Sharon's class, bragging a little about some trouble he'd gotten into for speaking out of turn, and complaining about the chores she'd given him as punishment.
How old are you, five? Trouble for speaking out of turn is nothing.

Jeb grinned, flashed a look at the unobserving women, and shook his head at me. UnobSERVANT.

Anyway, Jeb and Wanderer and some other redshirts are kneading bread or some shit and Jeb leaves her alone and Wanderer is terrified. GROW A PAIR. Also, Ian is mysteriously working with Wanderer when it's not his day to work. WHAT COULD THAT POSSIBLY MEAN? Anyway, I guess one of her jobs is to hold the ladder while Ian climbs on it and does stuff. She whines that her arms were aching. Good GOD all you're doing is HOLDING A LADDER. It's not like you're carrying heavy boxes or something!

Holy shit. What just happened? WHAT? She's freaked out because Jeb doesn't have his gun with him. Apparently she gasps and her knees turn weak and she almost falls down. Fuck, it's NOT A HUGE DEAL. And I don't think you have to worry about anyone killing you as NO ONE HAS EVEN TRIED IN LIKE A MONTH.

And now when Wanderer goes to eat, no one cares.

“How are things going? How are you holding up with Andy gone?” he asked her.
“I'd be fine if I weren't so worried,” she told him, biting her lip.

Can ANYONE survive without their man? And why are no women going on whatever dangerous shit Pedobear is up to? I'm not even a radical feminist, but MAN this pisses me off.

A little note about the weird word today. I wouldn't even have noticed the word "somnolent" if it wasn't so obvious that she looked it up in a thesaurus. It's like "twelve year old writing style, twelve year old writing style...LET'S ADD A BIG WORD TO SEEM SMART!" Dean Koontz uses words like "ameliorate" and Michael Crichton uses words that probably haven't even been invented yet because he's that advanced so I don't care when they use intelligent words but Smeyer just throws in these words to make us think that she's more intelligent than she actually is.

Anyway, Wanderer confronts Jeb because she thinks he's trying to get her killed, what with leaving her alone the day before and not taking his gun. Despite the fact that it's obvious he's just getting everyone acclimated to her presence, and Jeb tells her as much.

Jeb explained. “If you throw a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will hop right out. But if you put
that frog in a pot of tepid water and slowly warm it, the frog doesn't figure out what's going on until it's too late. Boiled frog. It's just a matter of working by slow degrees.” I'm fairly certain that's how you cook lobsters. Not frogs. Right?

He winked at me, bowed from the waist, and walked away. That bow was the most random thing ever.

List of girls who I want to kick Wanderer's ass:

Norah from The Thin Man
Buffy
Gemma Doyle from the Gemma Doyle Trilogy
Murphy from the Dresden Files
Scully
Samantha Carter
Teyla from Stargate Atlantis
Zoe from Firefly
Mina Harker
Any woman from any Dean Koontz book

Ian insisted on taking Wanderer to Doc and apparently Ian and Doc exchanged "significant looks". Anyway, then Wanderer asks Ian why he hasn't killed her yet and he says she doesn't mean them any harm and she's not putting them in danger so it would seem cruel to kill her.

I just want something to happen. Nothing has happened for like, a hundred pages. MUST YOU TORTURE ME LIKE THIS SMEYER?

Wanderer finds out that Ian and Doc are trying to protect her. End of chapter.

Note: Smeyer uses "chagrin" or "chagrined" seven times in The Host. Nice to know some things haven't changed.