Adventures in the Paranormal

You guys, I think I'm being haunted.

I live in a residence with like, fifty other people and weird things aren't happening to them. Just me. Here are some examples, ranging from least weird to most weird, but they all add up to fucking insane.

1. Approximately 348743764 times a day I hear something that sounds like a ball being dropped on the room above me. I have no idea what it could be, or why it happens so fucking often. Someone suggested that it could be a pool ball, and I thought this sounded plausible (If a little weird. I mean, who drops the pool balls on the ground?) Then I realized that the billiard room isn't above me. I think it's a poltergeist fucking with me and trying to keep me from sleeping.

2. Last night, I plugged both my iPod and my phone in to charge. Neither of them did (well, my phone because it wasn't plugged in, which I realized when I got home, but my iPod was definitely plugged in). And I was mad because I have to have my iPod to surf the internet with during geology because otherwise there's nothing else to do in class but sleep (or, you know, listen). So anyway, I took out my iPod in class to surf the internet with what little battery power I had left AND IT WAS FULLY CHARGED. Yeah. This was an example of a poltergeist being nice (if a little mischevious).

3. Okay, so the above two examples could easily be explained. Try THIS on for size. Monday morning I was in the shower and there are these little basket things that hang on the wall so you can put your shampoo and whatever in there. I carry my stuff in a little bag, put everything on the floor, and then put the bag in the basket. I didn't even TOUCH the basket and IT FUCKING FELL ON THE GROUND. I definitely didn't touch it, and it's not like what was in it was so heavy that it just broke under the pressure. It just fell for no apparent reason. This is probably the most frightening because it means I have a voyeuristic poltergeist, and now I feel dirty.

4. Last one, and this is the weirdest. I was sitting here on the computer. I had one window open with a bunch of tabs. They were: a) About five tabs from badassoftheweek.com b) hotmail.com and c) two Gossip Girl recaps. All of a sudden I hear these weird noises like a girl talking and there was lots of static. It was like a radio, but it was coming out of my computer. I frantically checked the tabs, but there were no weird videos open or advertisements or anything. I muted it for like two seconds, then unmuted it and it was gone. I think I just experienced EVP, people. Too bad I didn't actually listen to what the chick was saying. I might have been able to help her cross over.

I feel I have a duty to find the poltergeist and get rid of it before it gets angry and does something drastic to whoever has this room after me. I should do Ouija or something.