Celebrating 500 Blog Posts

I've thought long and hard about how to celebrate this momentous occasion, and I've decided to do something I like to call "The Best of Robin's Blog" from the past three years I've been writing this blog.

The first line that would start off this epic adventure of epicness:

June 7, 2005
"My first ever post!! Yay!!! So anyway, today was kind of shitty."

June 9, 2005
Anyway, elections for president on the SRC are coming up, and my brother is running! I'm his campaign manager. His opponent, and the people he's running with's initials are DIC. So I made a poster that said "Don't be a DIC! Vote for Jonas!" But he informed me he didn't want a smear campaign.

I don't remember this at all. But it was an awesome idea! Why the hell DIDN'T I do that?

July 25, 2005
The grandfather of one of the girls I had to babysit (I think his name was Bob) told me about how he wanted to be a blues musician, and apparently he plays slide guitar. Then he said he took classes in circus stuff, and his specialty is the 12 foot unicycle.

I talked to Katherine today and she told me her lumberjack dream. It was that me and Katherine were in the States and this lumberjack was giving us directions to get to Alaska.

I remember the dream but I don't remember the thing about Bob and the slide guitar and the 12 foot unicycle.

August 26, 2005
I was in the office by myself and Mr. Ruetz was like "Mrs. Seidlik, do you know where my pump is?" and she's like "no, what kind of pump?" and he's like "my air pump! My balls are flat and I can't pump them up!"
I told Heidi, and we were in English and had to write down what our weaknesses and strengths were in English and I was like "Heidi, what are my weaknesses?" and she's like "you're a loser?" and I was like "seriously. I don't have any weaknesses in English." And she's like "maybe that's your weakness" and I was like "I guess," and she's like "at least you don't have Mr. Ruetz's problem!"
I honestly don't remember this but it's hilarious.

August 29, 2005
In science today Mr. Zaluski was talking about when a beaker exploded and he had glass in his arms and he's like "and I was like Jesus i'm bleeding!" and Heidi was like "Jesus? What? I'm confused!" and I'm like "um, he's swearing!" she thought he said "I was bleeding like Jesus!" I told Stacey this story which reminded me of a rather frightening story of her brother. He used to take frogs and nail their arms and legs like Jesus when he was crucified! I was like "okay, every time I see Jeff I'm going to think of that!"

August 30, 2005
Zayne was talking but I wasn't really listening, and I heard something like "and while swimming, first the women swim, and then the men, and then the kids, and they have to go naked!" and I thought he was talking about his school when he was in Ontario, and so did Amanda and we were like "you had to swim NAKED?" but it turns out he was talking about a teacher who taught in Japan and that's what they did.

September 1, 2005
In info pro we had to talk for one minute about a topic she gave us, but she left the room and we had to keep going but Amanda and I went on the internet instead, and everyone told on us, and Mrs. Barber was like to Malerie "not hotmail, okay?" and she's like "not me! Them!" but Mrs. Barber didn't get it and we didn't get in trouble.

September 2, 2005
Funny stories I remember:
When Mr. K said sex in grade seven and Clint fell off his chair. Then when he tried to get up he hit his head. Then Mr. Karakochuk made him say sex ten times without laughing.
When Katherine and I were hiding in the woods and Jessica thought it was an opossum. And Kaleigh was like "why don't you just run after it?" and Devon was like "that works!"

Mar, I don't remember this AT ALL but you will love this story:

Amanda was like to Salvadore "did you get it on with Maria?" and without skipping a beat he goes "yes." and then we're like "what?" and he's like "wait, what did you ask?" I don't think he knows what "getting it on" means.

November 30, 2005
Okay, first I had a Voyage vers l'ouest dream last night. It was insane. Rose ran off with the farmhand, Anne ran off with the bank robber, Richard wasn't even mentioned, and the dad married a 16 year old and he and his two wives went off on a cruise. I told Mr. Lamers I had a dream about voyage vers l'ouest and he's like "really? What was it about?" and I couldn't explain in full because I was in the canteen but I was like "well, it was this big romance thing, and it involved polygamy too" and he's like "that's what's coming up next! You were just thinking ahead!"

I finished The Catcher in the Rye yesterday. I'm not sure how I feel about it...it has no plot and reading it is like reading my own blog, in that he talks about nothing for like ten pages and jumps from topic to topic. And he's SO HILARIOUS! Here is a (rather long) quote so Heidi you might want to stop reading here because I know you can't handle the length.
He's talking about a movie he saw.
"After the Christmas thing was over, the goddamn picture started. It was so putrid I couldn't take my eyes off it. It was about this English guy, Alec something that was in the war and loses his memory in the hospital and all. He comes out of the hospital carrying a cane and limping all over the place, all over London, not knowing who the hell he is. He's really a duke, but he doesn't know it. Then he meets this nice, homey, sincere girl getting on a bus. Her goddamn hat blows off and he catches it, and then they go upstairs and sit dowen and start talking about Charles Dickens. He's both their favorite author and all."

"I'd tell you the rest of the story but I might puke if I did. It isn't that I'd spoil it for you or anything. There isn't anything to spoil for Chrissake. Anyway, it ends up with Alec and the homey babe getting married, and the brother that's a drunkard gets his nerves back and operates on Alec's mother so she can see again, and then the drunken brother and old Marcia go for each other. It ends up with everybody at this long dinner table laughing their asses off because the great Dane comes in with a bunch of puppies. Everybody thought it was a male, or some goddamn thing. All I can say is, don't see it if you don't want to puke all over yourself."

September 30, 2006
I think Florian is a highly sophisticated android. That explains why he's so tall, and why he just says "yup" to every question.

September 21, 2006
French: We read this random story about a magic fish. The story was so confusing. Henri gets this big fish from the lake and is going to pretend he caught it in this big fishing contest. Then the fish is really mad and bites Henri, and then on the next page he loves Henri, and then for some reason the fish starts eating everything and gets fat and then on the next page he's skinny, and then Henri's wife gets jealous because he's spending so much time with the fish.

Lindsay asked what my story was about and I told her and felt really stupid, because it doesn't really have a point. There are aliens, and people dying, and old ladies with shotguns, and bombs, and UFOs, and then the aliens just kind of leave.

This was actually really frightening:
Today the weirdest thing happened. I got home from school and there was a weird van with a veteran plate in the driveway, and I don't know any veterans except for Oopa and he has a car. Anyway, I got in, and there are two old people sitting at my table and dad isn't there. I said hi, and then got freaked out so I hid in my room. Then I heard them yelling to someone downstairs. I'm not sure what he was doing. Anyway, then dad came home and called me to the kitchen because someone wanted to talk to me. There's an old guy there, who said happy birthday, gave me twenty bucks, and hugged me. I have NO CLUE who it was. He said he was a cousin of my Grandpa which is no help because that could either be Geedo or Oopa.

September 18, 2006
At quarter to seven we went to town to pick up a pizza. Heidi kept screaming "BABY! BABY ON THE ROAD!"

Throughout the night, Katherine and Stacey went on the floor, and Maria went to my room. And apparently Heidi was sleepwalking and followed Maria to my room and sat down on my bed. Then she was like, "I gotta go," she she just left. And I think Heidi had her head on Stacey's feet or something, and whenever Stacey tried to move them Heidi would grab them and put them under her head.

I all of a sudden remembered in Grade 9 when Kerri was reading her book review thing, and she had this really long question like, "so does Bob die when he's all alone in the church or does he fight the ghosts and get out alive?" and you know how when you ask a questions, your voice raises in pitch, but only at the end? Hers raised at around the word alone and stayed permanently an octave above what its supposed to be until the end of the question. It was sooooooooo funny. Heidi, please comment.

September 8, 2006
We're learning about soil, and Mrs. Halldorson was reading out of the book, and the first sentence was, "farmers often take a handful of soil and let it trickle through their fingers." Of course, we're all farmers there, and we're like, "what?" I have never seen that in my life, and I think I would know. Then the third sentence was, "they know that they hold their livelihood in their hands."

Then Lauren and I flipped through Voyage vers l'ouest and it brought back memories. Like Lauren going, "quoiiiiiiiii" really weirdly, and that weird girl who picked flowers all the time, and the girl that looks like a man, and the boy that got a mosquito in his pants. There's one part in the story where their house is on fire and the mangirl is like, "our house!" and the boy is like, "my little geese!" and the stupid girl is like, "my pressed flowers!" I mean really, who cares about their PRESSED FLOWERS? Be honest here. Nobody.

September 6, 2006
I heard Jen talk today, she either has a British accent or a speech impediment. And she also has the WEIRDEST TEETH EVER! The front teeth are in the right place, so are her eyeteeth, but the teeth between her front and eyeteeth are way back in her mouth. It looks like there are two rows of teeth, but the ones in front of the receded teeth aren't there. It's the freakiest thing ever. In creative writing, I was mesmerized by her teeth. They are that freaky.
Heidi, if you're reading this, do you remember this girl? I had CW with her. She was only at our school for like three months.

November 22, 2006
Okay, I loathe band as a rule, but it's fun when you make your own fun! I was in a rebellious mood, and didn't feel like playing anything.
"Vicky," I said. "Do you want to not play and see how long it takes her to notice?" So we're just sitting there, not even pretending to play, and she caught Vicky but not me. Then later, I had to find another way to rebel.
"Vicky," I said. "Do you think she'll get mad if we listen to my Mp3 player?"
"Yes," she answered. So of course, I pulled out my Mp3 player and we started listening to it. Menzie got super pissed off at us, but I didn't really care. She like, gave me the evil band teacher death stare, but I am immune. Then, Vicky shot an elastic band, which hit the stand and bounced back. Then Vicky got it back.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Snapping an elastic band at Menzie," she said. She then snapped it at Menzie and it hit her in the side and she TOTALLY DID NOT EVEN NOTICE! It fell right beside her foot and Vicky and I were killing ourselves laughing. No one else saw, and Menzie's like, "what? What's so funny?" and I managed to gasp out, "can't....speak..." Before this Brittany had said something about basketball.
"Basketball? Basketball's funny?" she asked inanely.
"Yes," I answered. "Basketball is funny." Mostly to shut her up. I don't know about Vicky but I was almost crying from laughing so hard.
This is still my favourite band class ever.

November 11, 2006
The next day Katherine and I worked in the canteen, and Jacob and Luke came. Some funny stories:

Jacob made this quiz to see how cool you are and one of the questions was, "who are you?" and Luke asked Jacob the question and Jacob's like, "a lost soul of Jesus."

Jacob left and he's like to Luke, "let's go the library and read Charles Dickens. He writes sweet books." Then Katherine was like, "he's a hippie." and Jacob looked at her like she's a moron and he's like, "he's an ORPHAN."

This little girl came to the canteen because she wanted to exchange a Nutri-Grain bar, and Luke asked her why and she's like, "because if I don't, my sister punches me. Then I punch her, and then she dies." We were all like, "oooookay."

The same little girl said she got some x's or something, I'm not too sure, and Katherine's like, "I got ten x's," and this girl was like, "are you a bad girl?"

The same little girl was like to Katherine, "want me to draw you a picture of a cat? I'm really good at it," and Katherine's just like, "no." Then I was like, "you can draw me one," and I got the drawing and Megan Farrell's like, "that looks like a pig." I thought it looked like a cow. Needless to say, she was not very good at it.

November 6, 2006
CW: We got our poetry things back, I got 53 out of 60 which is sooo surprising. Even Kaleigh got lower than me, and she actually likes poetry. She thought my rewriting of Cream in My Coffee was, and I quote "hilarious." Here it is:

You’re the Chip in My Hard Drive

You’re the chip in my hard drive
You’re the cell in my phone
You will always be my necessity— I’d be lost without you.

You’re the blog on my favourites list
You’re the Starchoice on my roof
You will always be my necessity— I’d be lost without you.

Lots of people tell love stories
And it gets so repetitive
You’re heard each known way
Here’s my own way

You’re the hot tub on my barge
You’re the captain and crew
You will always be my necessity— I’d be lost without you.

You brighten my day
You make me happy
So this is clear, dear,
You’re my tanning bed

You’re the hot tub on my barge
You’re the captain and crew
You will always be my necessity— I’d be lost without you.

I remember writing this but I don't remember what the actual assignment was.

September 11, 2007
9:50ish- History class. Corrected stuff. Cally randomly called out happy birthday to someone named Zach, and then later realized he wasn't in the class. I call her Malerie in the oasis of my mind.

October 31, 2007

Random Halloween memory: One day we were waiting for the bus and Jonas called us to the bus shelter because apparently it was filled with suckers and we didn't believe him. It actually was. Hoffmans had left them in the bus shelter because no one was home at our house. It was like Willy Wonka visited. It was awesome.

I had an odd dream last night. I went on this bus and a bunch of people from Sacred were on it, and the thing about this bus was if you rode on it for a certain amount of time, you forgot who you were and you were doomed to ride the bus because you didn't know what to do. So there are all these people going, "But...I don't know who I am!" and I wanted to help them. The two German exchange students were on the bus and I was like, "I know who you are! Your name is Connie, and...I don't know your name." And the other girl looked really sad so I was like, "Maria, what's her name?" and she said something really weird, and I was like, "um, I don't think that's her name. I think your name is Vanessa." Which may or may not actually be true. Then Jasmine started singing When I Think About Angels, which is her rock band song and I fell asleep on the doomed bus, but I was so worried I would forget who I was before my stop, and the bus driver wasn't stopping. I think he was the Grim Reaper or something.

October 12, 2007
I had three really weird dreams last night.

One, vampires were swarming my house and I was desperately trying to stay human until my mom came and bit me. Apparently she hasn't seen Buffy because she bit my eyeball instead of my neck and my eye was bleeding so much that it was glued shut with blood.

Two, Jonas and I were driving around in the truck, trying to stop an impending zombie apocalypse and we went to our farm and Mr. Digout was killing a swarm of zombies and I was like, "hey, Digout! Shotgun blast to the head!" and he's like, "I know!" and then the two Nicks from my English class climbed into the truck to help kill zombies and there was this awkward silence so I was like, "so...how about those zombies?" Then later we came back and Mr. Digout turned into a zombie and he was wearing a purple pope outfit and I think he was doing some kind of ritual.

Three, Grandma, Mom, Lindsay, and I were looking for a place to be protected from the zombies and we decided to hide in the barn loft because zombies couldn't climb stuff. Turns out they can. Anyway, I THINK Grandma had a shotgun and I was like, "shotgun blast to the head!" and she shot a zombie but it didn't do anything, and then I figured out that you had to kick them three times in the head, and then they died. Anyway, there were four entrances to the loft and we were each guarding one and killing zombies. In retrospect, the barn loft was a really good idea because they could only come up one at a time.

October 10, 2007
This has happened several times. The PA will beep meaning someone's going to make an announcement, but the secretary will be giggling. SEVERAL TIMES! SOMEONE'S having an affair with Mr. Senger!

October 1, 2007
Maria and I had a two and a half hour conversation Saturday night (I missed Heroes because of her) and we covered the following topics, and then some:

Schrodinger's Cat
The Five Minutes Ago Hypothesis
Whether Adam and Eve had belly buttons
The Big Bang
The Big Crunch
The Shape of galaxies
Life on other planets
Various theories on God's "experiments"
Quantum physics
Time travel
The Doomsday Argument
Hypothetical questions

February 12, 2008
Anyhoo...um, not sure what else I have to say...OH YEAH. In French, we were doing a personality quiz about what kind of trips we like, and we would each read out a sentence and then say whether we would do that or not. Example, "I would want to eat food native to the region." Anyway, Seleho (who's black) read the line that said, "I would tan on the beach" and some of us kind of laughed and then Madame Helene said something like, "you don't need to tan anymore!" and everyone burst out laughing.

February 6, 2008
English B30 is so much better than English A30. But it slightly seems like Reuven and Danny are heading towards a homosexual relationship. We shall see. Falicia thinks Reuven's name is Rover.

February 4, 2008
Callie is so stupid. Mr. Digout was teaching us about tense in English and all of a sudden she's like, "I have bad punctuation!" and there was a pause and he's like, "um...we're learning about tense now." And then he kept talking and she's like, "you're smart!" and I don't think he even paused in his teaching. In CE, we were in groups for this project and Tayler wasn't there so he asked which group wanted Tayler and no one said anything. Derek was like, "dibs, we don't want her! We don't want her!' No one likes her. Even her friends don't like her. She's like Kerri, only slightly more annoying, IF THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE.

And that is it! Congratulations to me for reaching 500!