Ghost CHapters 18 and 19

It turns out that there are a shitload of books I can read online from the same site I'm read Ghost from. Some of them sound like delightfully bad sci-fi B movies, like "Crawling Between Heaven and Earth", "The Creatures of Man", "Rats, Bats, and Vats", and "On Basilisk Station." I can also, strangely, read Diamonds Are Forever, which is the only Bond book I've ever read. Coincidence?

Anyway, I'm really frightened to read these chapters but I will keep on trucking because I am altruistic and want to save people from these books.

Anyhoodle, here's a comprehensive list of the similarities between Twilight and Ghost.

1. They're both blatant and unrepentant wish fulfillment.
2. Girls get compared to drugs in both.
3. The male lead has a weird, paternal vibe toward girls he wants to fuck.
4. They're both misogynistic.
5. Both male leads display symptoms of mental illness.

Man, I made a whole list in my my head on the way to school this morning but I forget them all. Maybe they'll come to me later.

Chapter 18

Okay, I'm just speaking for myself here but...I wouldn't want to live on a boat where I couldn't escape with some guy twice my age that I don't know. I know he APPEARS to be nice and decent to THEM, but still. I'm sure the Zodiac Killer appeared charming until he was strangling you to death.

Now Courtney is learning how to fish. It's kind of creeping me out how Mike has this like, paternal vibe toward them, especially in light of what comes later. You'll see.

"We'll go park at Rumrunners," Mike said. "I'll go dicker for dinner and you two can wash up and get more beautiful, if that's possible."
What the hell does "going dicker" even mean? You know what? Scratch that. I don't want to know.

It makes me really uneasy how Mike is suddenly being all noble and nice to the two girls when I know he's just a misogynistic monster. It's like he's bipolar or schizophrenic or something. Or like, some kind of serial killer. Like the character played by Mitch Pileggi on Criminal Minds. He SEEMS like a nice, decent, mild mannered family man, but really he's a psycho killer. That was a good episode. Mitch Pileggi should get an Emmy.

Wow, this chapter is confusing. Sometimes Ringo will have them in once place and then they'll be in another with no warning. Or a lot of time will pass but there is no segueway. Examples:

"I don't know if I can stay awake to party," Courtney said, yawning again. "But . . . you're on."

So they're on the boat here, and then...

"Hey, Louise," Mike said, walking in the back door of Rumrunners.

No space. No segueway. Nothing. And then:

"We'll aloe up when we get to the boat," Mike said, and waved at the menus. "I already ordered for us; you really need to try Louise's orange mahi. But if you want an appetizer . . ."

"God, that was great," Courtney said, polishing off the last of the mahi with a bite of rice. "And this rice . . ."

WTF was that, Ringo? I know you're actually a good writer, so this confuses me.

"Then may I take your arm?" Mike asked, offering his to both girls.

"A beautiful lady on either arm?" Pam asked. "Yes, you may."

"Every man's dream," Mike said, leading them out and around the restaurant to the boat.
He seems almost...nice. And it creeps me out. Like when Mitch is suddenly nice at work. I wonder what he's up to.

NO NO NO NO. Mike like, kisses Pam and she goes nuts and like, almost orgasms. Come ON, Ringo. No more wish fulfillment, okay?

Okay, okay, sex scene which I'm not going to read. Next chapter please!

Chapter 19

Courtney's expression was . . . crestfallen when she looked in the room. (And sees Pam with Mike, natch).

"Are you okay?" Courtney asked as he limped down the companionway.

"I will be," he said, straightening slowly until he was fully erect.
I can't see Ringo missing the double entendre there. Man, this book is not that subtle.

So Mike sleeps with Pam and then the morning after starts making out with Courtney, and apparently he is like, the best lover in the universe.

I don't like this part :( I'm just going to skip, okay? Also, it turns out Mike is into BDSM. You can probably figure out where this is going. Turns out the girls like BDSM too. Yay. And then Mike goes into an academic speech about S&M. I'm hardcore skimming now. Like I can hardly look at the page. I can't help but wonder if Ringo's parents read his work. Also, Mike apparently found this none too stable girl and used her for sex and he like, broke her spirit. Wow. This is...intense. That's not quite the word. Brutal? Not quite right, either. It's like normal words don't even apply to Ghost.

If my mom knew I was reading this, she would FREAK THE FUCK OUT. This is the woman who blocked MuchMusic after she found out I was watching Girlicious (IRONICALLY, okay? I think it's funny) and freaked out when she found out I was reading The Clan of the Cave Bear. I was fourteen and granted, I think there is a rape scene and some stuff about menstruation, but it wasn't even that bad. I learned a lot about Neanderthals.

I'm not sure I can continue with this book, though.