From my Nano:
His voice sounded far away, as if I was hearing it from the other end of a long tunnel filled with water.
It honestly made sense at the time. But I read it over and thought, “If two people were on opposite sides of a tunnel filled with water, would they be able to hear anything?” I have no idea why I didn’t just end that sentence at "tunnel".
She looked around and pulled a bobby pin from her hair. A lock of hair fell down and curled around her face.
Despite the fact that I said earlier she had hair that was "...pin straight, the way I always wished mine could be."
I turned my attention from the stars to the trees, and tried to scare myself by convincing myself that I could see dark shapes in the forest. I don’t know why I felt the need to scare myself for kicks. After all, the dark shapes I had seen in my dreams and hallucinations were scary enough. But unfortunately, there was nothing else to do. And really, if aliens were real, why not vampires? Or werewolves? Or Baba Yaga?
I have no idea how the last few sentences relate to ANYTHING.
The way they acted, moving together, the way they seemed to know what the others were thinking, gave the impression of a collective intelligence, and maybe they did.
First of all, WAY too many commas. That should be split into a few sentences. Secondly, this sentence is a bit unfinished. Apparently I had forgotten what I had said earlier. Understandable, since this is a FREAKING LONG SENTENCE.
I didn’t know where the aliens had gone because I couldn’t see the semblance of a door. I remembered from my dream that the room I had been kept in didn’t have a door, but the aliens had been able to open it somehow. I could open this door. It just didn’t have a doorknob. But it was possible to open it. If the aliens could open an invisible door, then I could too.
Was there a door or something? A door that no one could open? I don’t think I made it clear enough.
"Ryan?" Veronica said in confusion. She frowned a little in confusion.
And then she took a trip to the Department of Redundancy Department.
"Can you I get you any drinks?" the waiter asked, appearing suddenly at our table.
I must be tired.
The motion was so aprupty
Yes, that word is abrupt (I wrote abrupty at first. Now abrupt doesn’t look like a word anymore).
"What do you need? I’m out of those metal things you put in trees, but I just got a shipment of spike strips."
"Those metal things you put in trees." Real technical, right?
Veronica crossed hugged the box of explosives to her chest.
I originally wrote that she crossed her arms and I guess I didn’t backspace far enough.
Clowly
Supposed to be "slowly". I guess I have clowns on the brain.
The two of them were stuch
Let’s try again.
The two of them were stucl tp
Sutck! Dammit. I mean stuck. Yes.
"Well be okay."
What a difference an apostrophe (or lack thereof) makes.
From my Kate and Asher stories:
"No, we did not kill that person," I said, rolling my eyes. "The same thing happened to this person as to that person found in the school."
It sucks when people don’t have names.
The dogs and I both glanced up, startled.
So I thought these were three separate dogs, but apparently they fused into Cerberus when I wasn’t looking.
"Okay, Asher, usually I humour you, but not really
It was supposed to say "but not this time" and I noticed that a random word came out.
She was dressed in a slapless, knee length black sheaf.
Wow. So the dress didn’t cause her to be slapped, which was good, except she probably should have been slapped since she was wearing a wheat sheaf on her body.
"Ronnie!" I yelled.
"I’m okay," I said.
So Kate’s schizophrenic now. That was unexpected.
"You know you’ll be out yesterday fighting vampires."
So, suddenly my story is set in a time paradox, but no one bothered to tell me.
"Well maybe if you didn’t take twenty minute showers you should be reading time," Asher said.
I found this while editing. I think I meant to say "Well maybe if you didn’t take twenty minute showers you would be ready on time." But I’m not altogether sure. I don't even know what "reading time" means.
Asher had a bandage on his nose from here had twice been punched and was sitting on the loveseat.
I think I meant to say "from where he had" but I don’t know how I missed a whole word and one letter of another.
"Dammit, you changed. That towel was a good book for you."
Look. It was a good look for you.
I think I could take all this mystery surrounding my demon blood if I didn’t have to worry about the PIA, who were supposedly on my friend.
I couldn’t decide between saying "who were supposedly my friend," or "supposedly on my side". I guess I subconsciously chose both, although now the sentence has a whole new meaning.
"After decades of collecting supernatural paraphernalia, we have ways of…disposing of someone without attracting suspicion," he said.
[...]
He snapped the nunchuk (nunchuk?) at my hand, catching me on the wrist. I let out a yelp and cradled the hand to my chest. He twirled the nunchuks expertly. His eyes were the only thing I could see behind his black mask, but they glittered with latent malice.
He has ways of killing her without it being detectable to other people...so he sends a ninja? I have no idea where my head was tonight.
I just kept hearing the ghosts of balloons past and the grotesque, laughing face of my cousin Natalia.
She kept hearing her cousin’s face? Hmm.
Hidding
Yes, that word is "hidden".
I heard a rustle to my right and plunged farther into the dishes...
LOL I love this one! I meant farther into the bushes. Half my mind is on the TV right now, so that’s what I blame it on.
Two hours later, Veronica and I got back to my house. Her blonde hair was curled and pulled into a low, side ponytail. She had a few curls framing her face. My dark hair was curled and put up and attached with bobby pins. I also had a few curls hanging down by my face. We then got into our dresses. Veronica’s was long and tight to her body and lilac-coloured. It had two straps coming out from the middle of the neckline that formed a halter. Mine was tight and strapless with a full, gathered skirt and seafoam coloured. (I HURT MYSELF WITH THE INANITY. WHO AM I, STEPHENIE MEYER?)
Fourth wall breakage, ftw. I was having so much trouble writing the "Getting ready for grad" segment without it turning into a My Immortal-esque piece of shit and I got a little frustrated.
I clutched Asher’s army tightly...
His arm. Not his army.
Ha ha ha, I was rereading a story I wrote and found this:
He was the best person to take home to parents: pilot, smart, and completely unthreatening.
No, he is not a pilot. He is a high school student. He is also polite.
I don’t have a specific Nanoism, but I will say this: Having three characters named Asher, Aiden, and Adrian in close proximity in the same story is NOT a good idea.
From my angel story:
I ruffled through the desk.
I believe the word I was looking for is "rifled".
"What are you, your mother?" I asked.
I really, really hope not.
"Shall we live?"
I certainly hope you will. You can also leave.
I felt my spine burst and a flare of white hot pain.
Lol, I don’t even know if that’s possible! I meant she felt her spine break.
"Did you forget that you have pancakes coming?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Yes, I did. (and so did the author!) I stopped the waitress as she came back with my plate.
So my FMC is having breakfast with this other guy and then she gets angry at him and gets up to leave, and then I was like, "Shit! She has food coming!" I ended up getting the FMC to tell the waitress to pack it up. I feel sorry for the poor waitress.
"News travels fast. You can’t keep this deal a secret. News travels fast."
I definitely had no recollection of writing the same thing two sentences earlier.
"Well, naturally, you have to do something for us." Us meaning God and his angels. I rolled my eyes. I knew I would have to do something.
Duh. He just told you that.
From my homework:
I’m doing archaeology study notes, and every time I try to write "anthropology" I write "antrhopology." Every. Flipping. Time.
More archaeology notes:
Egypticans
Obscure sect of
To women in the Middle East, there is shit I forgot what I was going to say. Damn you, Gilmore Girls!
I wrote the first part of that sentence and then watched Gilmore Girls for a really long time and then went back to a half finished sentence, with no idea of what I had originally intended to write.
Expliit,k
That word is explicit, although it's a little hard to tell.
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