Cracked Out Things Stephenie Meyer Has Said

Today I'm looking through Smeyer interviews and commenting on stupid things she's said, which is pretty much everything.

AHHH. The first article I clicked on has a ginormous picture of Smeyer looking like she's going to eat my face. "They ate her. Then they're gonna eat me! OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD!"

I grew up in a community where it was not the exception to be a good girl. It was sort of expected. And all of my friends were good girls too, and my boyfriends were good boys. Everybody was pretty nice. And that affects how I write my characters. There aren't very many bad guys in my novels. Even the bad guys usually have a pretty good reason for the way they are, and some of them come around in the end. I don't see the world as full of negatives.
I get being influenced by what is around you. But there is optimistic and then there is OPTIMISTIC. For example, I think it's being overly optimistic that teenagers don't say "shit" but instead say "Holy crow". Conflict and being morally ambiguous is what adds dimension and suspense to a story. Who wants to read a book consisting all of good people? Oh and fact: If you start out bad, you can easily be influenced to come to the good side.

Have you read Bram Stoker's Dracula?
No, but it's on the list. I should've read that one a long time ago, but right now I can't read any vampire novels. I tried, after I wrote Twilight, to read The Historian, because it was the big thing that summer. But I can't read other people's vampires. If it's too close [to my writing], I get upset; if it's too far away, I get upset. It just makes me very neurotic.
Who says this? Who thinks, "Oh, I'm writing a vampire novel, so I won't research vampires AT ALL." It's just so counterintuitive. Vampires aren't my thing but if I ever did decide to do a vampire story, I would definitely research them and I would love to see other people's takes on vampires. I just don't get how her mind works. I've done a bunch of horror short stories and if I didn't know the subject very well, I researched it. I didn't just decide to make up a bunch of shit. The one I had to research a lot was when I did a story on a dybbuk, which is a Jewish possession. If I didn't know something I LOOKED IT UP. I wouldn't completely change their characteristics. I think she just doesn't know how to use the internet or something. Oh, and Dracula is THE vampire book. That's definitely required reading if you're making a career in vampire novels.

Given how fast you write, they better get the presses ready.
[Laughs] Sometimes it also makes me nervous. [My fans] count on me to be a fast writer, with a once-a-year release schedule, which, you know, isn't entirely fair. I mean, how long did they give J.K. Rowling? [Laughs] She gets a good couple of years between her books, and [Eragon author] Christopher Paolini gets two or three, too. But I know fans want [the new books], and you wanna give them what they want.
You know why that is? JK Rowling's books are longer, more complex, and they actually get edited. I'm not the hugest Harry Potter fan ever, but COME ON. There's no comparison. And I'm pretty sure Chris Paolini is self published, so I'm guessing he kind of makes his own schedule. I do think it's funny that she brings up Paolini because his purple prose is just as bad.

Your next book, set for next spring, is The Host, which you've described as possibly the first love triangle that involves only two bodies. It's also being billed as your first adult book.
Okay, IT IS NOT THE FIRST LOVE TRIANGLE INVOLVING TWO BODIES. She doesn't do any research on anything, so she CAN'T BE SAYING ALL THIS STUFF THAT ISN'T TRUE. Also, the only reason it was more "adult" was because it had more sex in it. Big goddamn deal.

Another thing that really bugs me is her pictures. They're all so modelly. I can't remember ever seeing model pictures of an author, ever. She's such an attention whore. Also, the interview I'm reading right now is just full of stuff to make fun of. I don't know if I can pick.

Edward is so perfect—you've ruined regular men for a lot of teens. Do you feel bad?
Oh, a little bit, I guess. I just wanted to write for myself, a fantasy. And that's what Edward is. But it could be a good thing, too. There's nothing wrong with having high expectations, right?

Has there ever been an Edward in your life?
No, no, I wish. I've had very typical, normal, human relationships my whole life.

It seems like every time she answers questions like this, it's just like a subtle backhand to her husband. Seriously, in pretty much every interview I've seen she talks about how Edward is so hot and she gushes about him all the time but she never mentions her husband at all. You'd think she'd say something like, "Edward is a fantasy, but my husband is just as good!" But no.

I was always a little grown-up for my age.
So what the hell happened? This is the woman who can't take criticism at all and can't say the word "semen."

That interview was actually really boring. She is such a bland person. Next one.

Right now, fans are more focused on her new book. Unlike the final Potter book, copies haven't leaked out.
HA HA HA HA, well we all know what happens when one DOES leak!

It's amazing, some of the characters are so completely rounded and as soon as I think of them, I know everything about them.
So I guess we're to assume that it's Smeyer's complete lack of writing skills that led to these "Completely rounded" characters being completely flat on the page?

Side note: I'm not sure how fans can read about someone and be like, "They're so hot!" Obviously with the movie you have a mental image now, but I mean...you can't see them. That always confuses me. I've been reading constantly since I learned how, but I've never had a crush on someone in a book. Ever. It just can't happen for me. My sister told me she used to have a huge crush on Marco from Animorphs and I remember thinking that was really weird.

Note: I copied and pasted something from a website and apparently you can't see it on my blog. Just highlight it and it will show up. This is the first time copying and pasting has fucked up my blog. Why? Well, Smeyer is the devil, that's why.

"I think there's something innate about the love of cars, something some people are born with," Stephenie Meyer says. "I am moved by beautiful automobiles. My friends used to follow cute boys on the highway, while I would follow cars. I'll still drive a few miles out of my way if I pass a pretty Porsche or Ferrari."

That's just creepy. I think that mocks itself.

Sorry for the random font change. I don't know how to change it back. Damn.

I'm sad that Rolling Stone did an interview with her. She doesn't deserve it.

Okay, I might put in more later. This font is bothering me so I'm going to end here.