Why TV Shows Shouldn't Be Made Into Movies

I'm a TV fan, but not so much a movie fan. I get as excited as anyone when my favourite TV shows get turned into movies, but more often than not, they end up being terrible. There are a couple of different reasons for this. Here are examples to illustrate:

Bewitched- Bewitched was a show from the 60's about a witch trying to remain incognito in the real world. The TV series was beloved by many baby boomers, and was even skewered by Chick, so that's something. The movie was a mess of stilted dialogue and bad casting (Will Ferrell? Really?) and probably tainted the memory of the show for many people.

Gilligan's Island- I LOVED Gilligan's Island when I was a kid. We had select episodes on video and I watched them over and over again. It has so become engrained in my heart, that I watched an MST3K version of "The Crawling Hand" starring Alan Hale, and I felt a moment of glee. The show was pure, amazing cheese that took a LOT of suspended disbelief, but it never pretended to be anything more. I watched one TV movie that we randomly had (I think it was one of those Wal-Mart discount bin finds that my dad is so fond of) and remember finding it lacklustre. Gilligan's Island isn't really good unless they are ON THE ISLAND. I think they spent most of the movie off. And it was in colour. I liked it in black and white better, for some reason. I think I even felt this way when I was a kid.

These two examples are TV shows that were mediocre and made worse movies. Now here are superb TV shows that made bad movies:

Stargate SG-1- Stargate SG-1 is a critically and commercially acclaimed show about a group of people who go through stargates and interact with aliens. It's the longest running show in sci-fi history and features tight writing, great cast chemistry, and good direction. So it would make a good movie, right? Not always. The Ark of Truth is a movie continuing the plot continuation of Stargate. Making movies that continue the plot ark is always a risky move, since they will only appeal to fans. And only then to fans who have watched the whole series. The Ark of Truth continued from season 10, when O'Neill was replaced by Mitchell and the Ori were trying to convert Earth to Origin. It's necessary to have seen the last few seasons to understand what was going on. I have seen the first four seasons and scattered episodes from the other six, so I was completely lost. TV shows have a chance to make movies that will appeal to a wider audience (See: Serenity) but ones that continue plot arcs have no chance to appeal to anything.

The X-Files: Which was the problem with Fight the Future, the X-Files movie that took place chronologically between seasons 4 and 5. This movie had a better chance of succeeding than The Ark of Truth since it took place in the middle of the X-Files series, and there wasn't much to catch up on. However, the X-Files doesn't have good luck with movies, and this one is a prime example. Chris Carter is better at serial writing than feature writing. Let's get one thing straight: I liked Fight the Future. But the only reason I liked it was because I am the hugest X-Files fan ever, and it was an X-Files fix. I know it's a pretty bad movie, but I love it anyway. Mostly because of the (very, VERY rare) shipping fuel in the almost kiss (but then Scully got stung by a bee. My shout of consternation could have been heard throughout my house). However, it was overly convoluted and featured some pretty dull moments (anything with Mulder and Scully fighting terrorists, and the parts featuring anyone in the Syndicate). I've seen it twice, I've seen every X-Files episode, and I'm pretty knowledgeable on all the different mytharcs, but I still freely admit that I have no idea what is going on.

Those two shows failed because they continued plot arcs from the TV shows that only appeal to a niche audience. The X-Files failed again in the second movie, even though it was a stand-alone:

The X-Files- Again, I liked the second movie purely because it was The X-Files, and it was good to see everyone again (And Gillian Anderson is SO PRETTY). One reason this movie failed was because it killed off everyone in season 9. I guess when Chris Carter ties things up, he does it right. But the people he killed off were people we loved (or loved to hate): The Lone Gunmen, Krycek, CSM, Samantha, Mulder's mom, etc. Skinner may as well have been dead, as he only showed up for an awesome cameo near the end. I think the movie would have done infinitely better if it actually featured a supernatural creature. After all, that is what The X-Files is known for. Or if the bodies they were pulling a Dr. Frankenstein on got loose and started killing people, or something. As it is, it was a couple of gay people and some Russian scientists WHO DIDN'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH (although one was Alex Diakun, a favourite of writer Darin Morgan, and who has guest starred on The X-Files at least three times, so that was cool) and they didn't even really seem like VILLAINS, just misguided, lovelorn people. There were a few shout-outs to the fans, which was also cool. But the fun banter and chemistry between Mulder and Scully seemed to be gone (I think it left around season 7 when they started sleeping together) and the whole thing just seemed mired down in something.

Stargate: Continuum is another standalone, but I haven't watched it yet. I suspect it will be better than The Ark of Truth.

Serenity- The movie sequel to Firefly was good, and I haven't seen it for awhile, but I remember it not really seeming Whedon-esque. Firefly had a lighter tone, with a great chemistry between the cast, but it wasn't as light and seemed almost forced at times. I also remember it being REALLY confusing, but maybe I was just too young/dumb. There's also another reason Whedon shouldn't continue his shows with movies: He will kill someone off. Count on it. Usually someone you love. Because Whedon is a cruel, cruel mistress.

However, Star Trek III: The Wrath of Khan gave us "KHAAAAAAAAAAAN!" so maybe that makes up for everything.
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I'm trying to think of things to fill up this blog while I search for another bad book. I went to look at romances today at the library, but I was too embarrassed, lol. I think I'll get Eragon next time I go home and maybe a few BSC books, because those are always good for a cheesy time. I also really want to find The Shadow God, but it's 45 bucks. I think I'll try to do Ghost again tomorrow, and do a couple of chapters. If it doesn't get funny, I'll give up. Also planned for tomorrow is a MSTing of Body Rock, so we'll see how that goes.