Also, this dress – that Alice must have put me in sometime when I was too lost in
the burning to notice – was not what I would have picked out for either jumping
or hunting. Tightly fitted ice-blue silk? What did she think I would need it for?
Was there a cocktail party later?
Ha ha ha ha ha!
"Show-off," I muttered, and heard his invisible laugh.
Really? She couldn't SEE HIS LAUGH? Seriously?
Hoping very much that Esme was not particularly fond of any specific trees
across the river, I began my first stride. And then stopped when the tight satin
split six inches up my thigh. Alice!
Convenient.
Well, Alice always seemed to treat clothes as if they were disposable and meant
for one-time usage, so she shouldn't mind this. I bent to carefully grasp the hem
at the undamaged right seam between my fingers and, exerting the tiniest
amount of pressure possible, I ripped the dress open to the top of my thigh. Then
I fixed the other side to match.
Wtf? People have SAID that this is like porn for little girls, but now I KNOW that's true.
"Bella?" Edward called from the woods, his voice moving closer. "Do you want to
watch again?"
That could have many meanings.
It was fabulous.
Yes, dahling, it was fah-bulous!
However, I was stronger, and every stride of mine matched the length of three of his.
WHAT?
The forest was much more alive than I'd ever known.
The hiiills are aliiiiiiiive with the sound of muuuuuuuuuusic...
Here's something I don't get. Apparently the vampires are beautiful so that they can attract human prey, and yet in Twilight all the humans instinctively stay AWAY from the Cullens, negating their beauty factor. Bella's the only one stupid enough to not stay away.
More unintentional e-book hilarity:
"Belial," he called dryly, his voice even, lazy. I could hear nothing else; he had
stopped.
I believe that's supposed to be "Bella". Taken from that bastion of truth, Wikipedia:
"Belial is a demon in the Bible, Christian apocrypha and Jewish apocrypha, and also a term used to characterize the wicked or worthless. The etymology of the word is uncertain, but is most commonly translated as "without worth"."
"Yes." His tone was approving. "Now... wait for the breeze again and... what do
you smell?"
Mostly him – his strange honey-lilac-and-sun perfume.
What kind of guy wears honey, lilac, and sun perfume?
At least it would be something hot and wet in my desiccated mouth.
Oh, dear lord. The INNUENDO.
He shrugged and shook his head, refusing to be deflected. "Bella, how did you do
it?"
"Run away? I held my breath."
"But how did you stop hunting?"
"When you came up behind me... I'm so sorry about that."
"Why are you apologizing to me? I'm the one who was horribly careless. I assumed
no one would be so far from the trails, but I should have checked first.
Such a stupid mistake!You have nothing to apologize for."
"But I growled at you!" I was still horrified that I was physically capable of such
blasphemy. ;JASDFKLASDFLADSFL;ADSFLH
"Of course you did. That's only natural. But I can't understand how you ran
away."
"What else could I do?" I asked. His attitude confused me – what did hewant to
have happened? "It might have been someone I know!"
He startled me, suddenly bursting into a spasm of loud laughter, throwing his
head back and letting the sound echo off the trees.
"Why are you laughing at me?"
He stopped at once, and I could see he was wary again.
Keep it under control,I thought to myself. I had to watch my temper. Just like I
was a young werewolf rather than a vampire.
"I'm not laughing at you,Bella. I'm laughing because I am in shock. And I am in
shock because I am completely amazed."
"Why?"
"You shouldn't be able to do any of this. You shouldn't be so... so rational. You
shouldn't be able to stand here discussing this with me calmly and coolly. And,
much more than any of that, you shouldnot have been able to break
off mid-hunt with the scent of human blood in the air. Even mature vampires
have difficulty with that – we're always very careful of where we hunt so as not to
put ourselves in the path of temptation. Bella, you're behaving like you're decades
rather than days old."
Bella's such a special snowflake and she's the very bestest vampire of them all!
My eyes pinpointed the movement linked with the sound, and I saw
the tawny hide of the great cat slinking along the wide branch of a spruce just
down and to the left of my perch. He was big – easily four times my mass.
Unless it's a tiger or lion, it won't be four times Bella's mass. Of course, now that she lost all that weight with the super special awesome vampire venom, that could be accurate.
His raking claws could have been caressing fingers for all the impact they had on
my skin. His teeth could find no purchase against my shoulder or my throat. His
weight was nothing. My teeth unerringly sought his throat, and his instinctive resistance
was pitifully feeble against my strength. My jaws locked easily over the
precise point where the heat flow concentrated.
It was effortless as biting into butter. My teeth were steel razors; they cut
through the fur and fat and sinews like they weren't there.
The flavor was wrong, but the blood was hot and wet and it soothed the ragged,
itching thirst as I drank in an eager rush. The cat's struggles grew more and more
feeble, and his screams choked off with a gurgle. The warmth of the blood radiated
throughout my whole body, heating even my fingertips and toes.
Whoa. How did we go from Twilight, to...to...THIS?
I wrenched myself erect in one quick move. Standing, I realized I was a bit of a
mess. I wiped my face off on the back of my arm and tried to fix the dress. The
claws that had been so ineffectual against my skin had had more success with the
thin satin.
So she's like 2/3 naked now?
He'd finished with two before I was done with the first, not a hair ruffled, not a spot on his white shirt.
Yeah right. Who is he, Sean Connery era James Bond?
It was a surprisingly sensual experience to observe Edward hunting.
I get the same feeling when the guys from school come in with those sexy fluorescent orange vests.
His smooth spring was like the sinuous strike of a snake; his hands were so sure, so strong, so
completely inescapable; his full lips were perfect as they parted gracefully over
his gleaming teeth. He was glorious. I felt a sudden jolt of both pride and desire.
He was mine. Nothing could ever separate him from me now. I was too strong to
be torn from his side.
SERIOUSLY. All this description...NOT NECESSARY.
"Centuries of practice."
One century.
"Done, I think." I felt very full, sort of sloshy, even.
She's gonna need to pee later.
Maybe I would just love Edward more than anyone in the history of the world
had ever loved anyone else.
Um, lust is not love.
Chapter 22- Promised
Thinking of Renesmee brought her to that center-stage place in my strange, new,
and roomy but distractible mind.
I love how she described her mind as roomy. It's because she has no thoughts in it! Also, my spellcheck doesn't like the word "distractible". Knowing Smeyer, it's probably not a word.
"How much is she like you? How much like me? Or like I was, anyway."
"It seems a fairly even divide."
Okay, I don't get this. I don't think it is an even divide. She's not human at all, as far as I can tell. She drinks blood, she has a vampire mind power, she ages rapidly and then stops so she is beautiful forever. Where's the human in that equation?
I cringed at the dim memory of shame
and guilt. It seemed odd now that I had needed him [Jacob]so much then. That sense of
absence without him near had vanished; it must have been a human weakness.
Ouch.
So Bella goes home and Jacob offers himself as a test to see if Bella would snap because he doesn't want Renesmee to get hurt. Bella thinks that's kinda weird...what could be up with Jacob...WHAT'S GOING ON?
I heard Emmett chuckle again – a sound of anticipation.
Yup. This is gonna be awesome. But I also notice that Emmett's just kind of in the background, chuckling. Constantly. He's like the chuckle ghost.
If her face had not been astonishing in its beauty and perfection, I wouldn't have
believed it was the same child. My child.
Good to know that Mary Sue runs in the family.
Edward regales the vamps with the story of how
I don't know why they're all calling Jasper "Jazz" just out of the blue.
BELLA SMASH!
I puzzled over it, watching him stare at my daughter. Staring at her like... like he
was a blind man seeing the sun for the very first time.
"No!"I gasped.
Jasper's teeth came together and Edward's arms wrapped around my chest like
constricting boas. Jacob had Renesmee out of my arms in the same second, and I
did not try to hold on to her. Because I felt it coming – the snap
that they'd all been waiting for.
"Rose," I said through my teeth, very slowly and precisely. "Take Renesmee."
Rosalie held her hands out, and Jacob handed my daughter to her at once. Both
of them backed away from me.
"Edward, I don't want to hurt you, so please let go of me."
He hesitated.
"Go stand in front of Renesmee," I suggested.
He deliberated, and then let me go.
I leaned into my hunting crouch and took two slow steps forward toward Jacob.
"You didn't," I snarled at him.
He backed away, palms up, trying to reason with me. "You know it's not something
I can control."
"Youstupid mutt\ Howcould you?My babyf
He backed out the front door now as I stalked him, half-running backward down
the stairs. "It wasn't my idea, Bella!"
"I've held her all ofone time, and already you think you have some moronic wolfy
claim to her? She'smine"
"I can share," he said pleadingly as he retreated across the lawn.
"Pay up," I heard Emmett say behind me. A small part of my brain wondered
who had bet against this outcome. I didn't waste much attention on it. I was too
furious.
"How dare youimprint onmy baby? Have you lost your mind?"
"It was involuntary!" he insisted, backing into the trees.
Then he wasn't alone. The two huge wolves reappeared, flanking him on either
side. Leah snapped at me.
A fearsome snarl ripped through my teeth back at her. The sound disturbed me,
but not enough to stop my advance.
"Bella, would you try to listen for just a second? Please?" Jacob begged. "Leah,
back off," he added.
Leah curled her lip at me and didn't move.
"Why should I listen?" I hissed. Fury reigned in my head. It clouded everything
else out.
"Because you're the one who told me this. Do you remember? You said we belonged
in each other's lives, right? That we were family. You said that was how
you and I were supposed to be. So... now we are. It's what you wanted."
I glared ferociously. I did dimly remember those words. But my new quick brain
was two steps ahead of his nonsense.
"You think you'll be part of my family as myson-in-lawV I screeched. My bell
voice ripped through two octaves and still came out sounding like music.
Emmett laughed.
"Stop her, Edward," Esme murmured. "She'll be unhappy if she hurts him."
But I felt no pursuit behind me.
"No!" Jacob was insisting at the same time. "How can you even look at it that
way? She's just a baby, for crying out loud!"
"That'smypointl" I yelled.
"You know I don't think of her that way! Do you think Edward would have let me
live this long if I did? All I want is for her to be safe and happy – is that so bad?
So different from what you want?" He was shouting right back at me.
Beyond words, I shrieked a growl at him.
"Amazing, isn't she?" I heard Edward murmur.
"She hasn't gone for his throat even once," Carlisle agreed, sounding stunned.
Okay, here's what I don't get. The whole reason that Jacob and Bella were in love with each other was that Jacob loved
"That was her," he told me. "From the very beginning. We had to be together,
even then."
Except...she wasn't alive. She didn't exist. At all. How can he love something THAT DOESN'T EXIST?
Then Bella freaks out because Jacob nicknamed her Nessie. Now, I'm not sure how that's the first nickname that came to mind. Ren, Rennie, MayMay, whatever. Not Nessie.
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