Dean Koontz

Dean Koontz is my favourite author in the whole world, but from The Husband on I've had a vague sense of anger and resentment while reading his books, and I never knew why. I thought because his characters lacked ambition, and then I thought it was because his books were turning preachy, but I had an epiphany, and now I know why his books make me angry...they make me feel bad about myself. The characters he creates are completely selfless and essentially without flaws. I read them and think, "I can never be that good" and it makes me feel mad at myself. And it's not just they make me feel like a selfish and bad person, it's that the people he creates are completely good. They should be nominated for sainthood. Jimmy Tock from Life Expectancy was pretty much the last non-perfect Dean Koontz character. He was super nice, accommodating, helpful, and selfless, but he was also a little cowardly at the beginning, and he was hilarious, so that helped. I feel it's important to be funny, which is why Moonlight doesn't work. But I digress. In The Husband, Mitch is willing to do anything and fight anyone to get his wife back. He's heroic and completely without greed. The dude from The Good Guy IS a good guy. He's willing to help out a complete stranger at risk to his own life. HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW THAT WOULD ACTUALLY DO THAT? And now in The Darkest Evening of the Year, Amy's whole existence is saving golden retrievers, even when she has no money. That makes me so angry. She could be a LITTLE materialistic, you know? I'm looking at my bookshelf right now, and thinking of the main characters. Dresden, from the Dresden Files. He is really selfless as well. He's completely chivalrous, and kind of has a hero complex. But he is a flawed and nuanced character. He has internal turmoil. He has imperfections. This is why we love him. Gemma, from the Gemma Doyle trilogy. She has all this teenage angst, albeit from a Victorian perspective. She is also strong and brave, but is terribly vulnerable when it comes to her dad and Kartik. Again, she is flawed. Sam Spade. The quintessential anti-hero. He actually has no discernible good qualities. The way he left Brigid out to dry was chilling. But I digress. The main character from State of Fear by Michael Crichton was really cowardly. My point is, they are all flawed character. Ie, they are HUMAN. Dean Koontz heroes are kind of like demi-angels. Demi-angels could be a designation I just made up, but never mind. They're like those Jesuit priests who were killed by the Mohawks for trying to save the souls of others.

Anyway. So here's the thing about DEOTY (Darkest Evening of the Year). I know Dean Koontz is a huge fan of golden retrievers and his dog just died, so I guess this is his way of paying tribute, but what is wrong with other breeds of dogs? Poodles are like, the sixth most popular breed of dog in Canada and like the second smartest dog in the world. Goldens are OVERRATED. So what happens if Amy Redwing's organization that saves golden retrievers find an abused poodle, or perhaps a chihuahua? What then? Does she just leave them? Because if she saved them, then her organization's name would be fallacious. If I ever made a dog saving organization, I wouldn't discriminate.

Here are things that show up A LOT in Dean Koontz's books.

-Golden retrievers. Most often they have human qualities and are amazingly intuitive, intelligent, and angelic.

-His characters lack ambition. Mitch is a landscaper, Jimmy is a baker, um...Micky is unemployed, Christopher didn't even want a job, I don't think Chyna had a job either, Billy is a bartender, etc.

-The secondary female characters are ALWAYS amazingly witty, ostensibly airheaded, and change the main male character's life.

-The children are usually disabled, witty, and prodigious.

-The villains are fucking insane and kind of perverted.

-If the character don't come from a broken home (a la Chyna, Molly, Micky, etc.) then they are super close to their family.

-Family and friends and the little things in life are always important.

-Lots of the time, the main characters have a parent who is unbelievably cruel and/or insane (a la Chyna and Micky's mothers, Molly's father, that one dude's mom who I think works in the garden a lot) This could be because Dean Koontz's dad wacked.

-Poetry is really prevalent. I don't like poetry. I've decided to not pretend that I'm cultured anymore, so I officially don't like poetry, ballet, opera, or orchestras. I do like classical piano and any kind of jazz and Robert Johnson.

-The characters usually don't like any entertainment. This includes popular music, TV, movies, celebrities, any kind of pop culture.

SPOILERS
-Lots of the characters have a deep dark secret. Tim (was that his name?) from The Good Guy (something to do with being in the military, I forget), it would seem Amy Redwing has one (perhaps she is an ex-con?), Brian (my guess is he fathered a child with a crazy ass bitch named Moongirl and she has the kid and is abusing her), Molly (her father killed a bunch of kids in her class when she was like ten, and she shot him), Chyna (her mom's insane), whasherface from Tick Tock (she's an alien, or she has a dog that is an alien. I forget which)(although that turned out well), Odd (he can talk to ghosts), Micky (she was sexually abused), etc.

-Sometimes there are vague religious references. This is most prevalent in The Taking.

I love Dean Koontz's books. I just wish he would get a little more originality with regards to characters and would make them a little more humanlike, as opposed to saints.